The Poetry of Mara Prose

Copyright © 2017 by Mara Prose Publishing

I don’t know her, but she knows me well…

There she is, I fight hard to keep her at bay
I don’t recognize her but she knows me well
She remains hidden until she senses weakness
Then she dims my light and my soul is left in shambles

I don’t recognize  her but she knows me well
She uses fear to hinder me
She makes me believe I don’t deserve more
She is so convincing at times, I feel like I am losing my mind

I don’t recognize her but she knows me better than I know myself
She tells me I’m failing
She pokes fun at my success
Her taunts race through my mind
Because I don’t know her but she knows me well

If I’m not careful, I will take on her persona
If I don’t disassociate myself, she will become a dominant force within me
If I don’t keep reaching for the light, her darkness will over take me
Because I don’t know her but she knows me well

You said forever…

You said forever
You said we’d never be apart
But when the tide started flooding
You quickly made your depart
You said for better or worse
You said it’s us against the world
But when I needed you the most
You suddenly went ghost
You said forever, we’d always be one
You said I got your back but
I guess I never really knew jack
Because where were you when I fell flat?
What kind of love makes you turn your back so coldly?
Especially after promising that I’d be your only
It’s hard to fathom that we are no more
All because you had to settle a score
Til death do us part huh
What a mockery you made of that
But you said forever
Everyone says ‘say it ain’t so’
But you went somewhere I just could not go
What happened to the man who cherished me so
What happened to the man who I could easily follow
What happened to the man that I pledged my love to
Oh where, oh where did he go?
But you said forever, you let me go without a second glance
And now there’s no second chance
Because I’m a different woman and you’re a different man and this just wasn’t the plan
I’m on to new beginnings, where I thought you’d be too
I’m on a different path, one where I’m broken but renewed
It feels so unreal that I just had to flee
Can’t believe that we just can’t be
We were supposed to last
We were supposed to amass
We were supposed to surpass
But you let me down
Now we don’t even come around
It’s tragic really, two soul mates lost from each other
But I’m positive God will bring me another
So I close this chapter with a tear in my eye as I begrudgingly say goodbye
I’ll always cherish the memories
I’ll always celebrate our history
The years we made it were no small feat
It’s too bad we ended in defeat
But I love you truly and I always will
It’s just that love is not strong enough since it all went downhill
I wish you the best my love, I sincerely do
To the love of my life, I make the sacrifice so you can find what you need;
so you can finally succeed
I am soaring without you and it is so bittersweet
I wish you could get to know the woman who has landed on her feet
You are missing out on the best version of me, I’m making new strides that you will never really see
It’s odd you couldn’t adapt to this me, she’s so much better than what you used to see
I never thought we’d outgrow each other, it’s too bad we are both headed to another
But I accept it, and I don’t contest it, there’s nothing left to mention

But you said forever…

You Can’t Tame Me…

There one day and gone the next
Nothing but a beautiful memory was left
I read the texts but now they make no sense,
so I’ve slowly done away with them

Was it a lesson learned? Maybe  Should I feel burned? Nah baby
Or should I just accept it?
The problem is, you can’t tie me down
I won’t allow you to make me frown
It simply wasn’t long enough to affect me

See, I took a chance on a romance and let you sell your fantasy
But your face quickly fell, and you reneged on the sell and we began to see the real deal
And then I woke up, realized my wings were stuck and that I needed to fly away
directly.

So we clashed and I tried to mend the gashes in the relationship we were trying to form.  But then I realized I don’t have any ties and it wasn’t worth the agonize.

You wanted to hide my light that is shining so bright because you couldn’t handle the glow.  But didn’t you know, didn’t I tell you so, I was never meant to be tamed.

You can’t tame me.  I am not meant to be caged.  You can’t tame me.
I won’t bend to your rage.  There is no meekness within me
and you misunderstood clearly and I am sorry you had to go.

I’m an eagle soaring here, there and everywhere.  Too bad you are no longer a care.  It is nice to be free, it is nice that I can flee, whenever the mood suits me.

Because I am looking for that someone that can match my blaze, where we will fall into a blissful haze, for days and days; who will never go away.  There will be no need to tame me because he will be the same as me.  That man will be my destiny.

Why Can’t I…

Why can’t I want the man that wants me
Why can’t I see in me what they see
Why do I gravitate towards the same type of men
The ones that are no good for me and make
all these demands

How many frogs do I have to kiss, before I find
my one true prince
Tired of all the disappointments
Tired of never knowing
Is it real, is it fake
It’s just too much to take

I’m attracted to the Mr. Big’s in life
The ones that bring so much strife
Hot one minute and cold the next
Can someone please explain this context?

My friends tell me it is the challenge that I love
They claim I love the thrill of the chase
But if that is the case, I am sick of falling
flat on my face

Why can’t I want the men that fall to their knees?
The ones that say baby be mine please?
The ones that have proven their loyalty for years
The ones that wipe away my tears when the Mr. Bigs
leave me with fears

Fears that all love is lost
Fears that I’m paying  a big cost
Fears that no one will ever get me
Fears that companionship is a faint memory

I told my girls it’s s the solo life for me
There are just too many places that I have to be
It would be too hard for any man to follow
I would simply leave him feeling hollow

So why can’t I want the men that want me?
It’s simple, it is because I have standards and I’m just meant to be free.

Momma, I apologize

Momma, I apologize for all the tears I made you cry
I regret all the unnecessary good-byes
And for all the times I told you lies

It’s taken me too long to appreciate your wisdom
It’s been too long of me playing the victim
For many years, there has been a void in my soul
I did not know it simply took you to make me whole

It took a travesty to bring me to my senses
It took humility to realize only you could mend me
It’s so nice to cherish you at last
It’s wonderful rebuilding our bond, I am having a blast

I thought I could make it in this life without you
I finally learned that is so untrue
Momma, you are my inspiration
I realize now I am your creation

I’ve patterned my life after yours
I’ve kept you with me even in the downpours
I want our reconciliation to last forever
It is because it is you I truly treasure

So now, I thank you
Thank you for being my hero
Thank you for being my light
Thank you for forgiving my spite
Thank you for helping me heal
It’s been hard, but you have made my life ideal

I love you Momma, I hope you see
That I’ve changed for the better and I am loving this ‘ME’
I am becoming the woman you always wanted me

Death to you and me & all in between

Death to you and me and all in between
Death to the civility
Death to respectability
Death to equitability
Go ahead and curve me, I won’t miss your presence
My vision no longer includes your essence
You are dead to me in all ways
Now I just say “oh yeah, he’s from back in the day”

You are a toxic, treacherous snake
Who only brings heartache
Hell, you better hope your heart is still up to the take
Why did it take me so long to catch you on the make?
Why was I so blind to the man that is not a keepsake?

Don’t look this way anymore
We have definitely settled the score
Our tab is paid in full
So stop with all the bull

Because see it is death to you and me and all in between
Don’t bring yourself to my door
Or you will prolong this war
Don’t speak to me ever again, don’t even mention my name
You are not my friend; just a pathetic man without peace within

I prayed for God to change my mind
I prayed for God to make me blind – to you and those like you
Not blind so I can’t see through you, blind to keep me from you
I didn’t know what He had planned would solve things by twos
God had his hand on our last night and I thank Him for giving me the strength to
fight

It is simply death to you and me and all in between
I’ve cut off friends and family members for a lot less
I’d stop this mess if I were you, you have no idea
who you are really up against
This is a game of chess you don’t want to stress

You are a destructor of the worst kind because
you hit all your victims on their blindside
Then you want to play possum and celebrate
like we really lost something in a mate

The only thing I lost was an albatross
It’s a shame you still have so many fooled
It’s a shame you can’t stop playing the fool
Feels good to roll my eyes at your shenanigans
Feels good to stop panicking
But my only true regret is you have our offspring
in your tangled net but it won’t last
My blood flows through their veins too
My spirit has molded who they are too, boo

You used your last trump card that night
Now all you can do is act contrite
But no one wants to hear your side
So just suck up your pride and stop all the lies

You don’t really want her back do you?
That woman that you once knew
The woman without caution who squared up on you?

Too late
Just remember you created this monster
I would advise you to go far over yonder
Keep your distance, maintain your silence
Because you are now an aberration

Because it is death to you and me and all in between

 

Wobbegong

You are motionless in your emotions
You give no chase, you only entice
Your duality camouflages who you really are
You prey on the weak and diminish the strong
Your attack is not expected, your victim is left severely wounded
And although you are slow to pounce
You can devour a soul in a fraction of a second
Your third eye is not wisdom, it is deceit
You are a bottom dwelling succubus
Your bite is often unprovoked
Your ambush is renowned and your victims are many
You will suck your lover’s heart dry and go on to the next
The lover will be left exhausted, jaded and in extreme pain
Oh Wobbegong, why do you feed on the weak and strong alike?
Mend your heart, nourish your soul, find a true passion
You feel empty because you are empty
Your sole purpose is to consume but you are never fulfilled
Oh Wobbegong, sorry to say you will never rise to the top
Your place is designated to the bottom
You cannot ride the backs of others
So go back to your corner and hide
Because Wobbegong, you are nothing but a bottom
dwelling leech waiting for your next casualty

Waiting (God’s Call)

Waiting until I hear my name
Waiting because I have something to gain
Waiting because I’m in no hurry
Waiting because He says I have a new journey

Waiting because my career is taking off
Waiting because there’s a big payoff
Waiting because He gave me a new focus
Waiting because He said only small doses

Waiting to hear His call
Waiting because He told me to start small
Waiting because I see a new mission
Waiting because I need His permission

I’m waiting on God, He guides my every step
I’m waiting on Him, because he knows what is best
I’m waiting on God, because He is always reliable
I’m waiting on Him, because His favor is undeniable

I’m waiting…

Harsh Lessons

It took something extreme
to bring me to my knees
It took a great fall
and losing it all
for me to stall
and simply crawl

My ego took blows
and I completely froze
Everything I had taken for granted
left me stranded
due to being reprimanded
by Life, by God, my own Foolish Pride

I looked back at this time last year
and accessed all my fears
and took note of all my tears
and somehow I persevered

They say God will humble you
and boy, did He ever
I don’t know why I thought I was so clever
I don’t know why but I know I will never
Let myself return to those silly ways
I have set the bar higher and must continue to blaze

The lessons were harsh
but they made me smart
and gave me a new start
They helped me set myself apart
and I was forced to depart
From people who meant me no good
From those who always misunderstood
From the things that were in excess
From the things that just caused distress
So I could simply evolve and be blessed

There were times I didn’t think I’d make it through
There were times that I was oh so blue
Oh, if you only knew

But I found my inner strength
For my children’s sake
And now I can be an example
since I’ve handled, dismantled and unscrambled
and took lots of gambles
But for now, let me stop this ramble since I am no longer in shambles

I’m proud but in a new way
I’m proud because despite the dismay
I overcame, I slayed and made up for those days

All because of harsh lessons…

I Don’t Know Her

There she is, I fight hard to keep her at bay
I don’t recognize her but she knows me well
She remains hidden until she senses weakness
Then she dims my light and my soul is left in shambles

I don’t recognize  her but she knows me well
She uses fear to hinder me
She makes me believe I don’t deserve more
She is so convincing at times, I feel like I am losing my mind

I don’t recognize her but she knows me better than I know myself
She tells me I’m failing
She pokes fun at my success
Her taunts race through my mind
Because I don’t know her but she knows me well

If I’m not careful, I will take on her persona
If I don’t disassociate myself, she will become a dominant force within me
If I don’t keep reaching for the light, her darkness will over take me
Because I don’t know her but she knows me well

 

You Said Forever

You said forever

You said we’d never be apart

But when the tide started flooding

You quickly made your depart

You said for better or worse

You said it’s us against the world

But when I needed you the most

You suddenly went ghost

You said forever, we’d always be one

You said I got your back but

I guess I never really knew jack

Because where were you when I fell flat?

What kind of love makes you turn your back so coldly?

Especially after promising that I’d be your only

It’s hard to fathom that we are no more

All because you had to settle a score

Til death do us part huh

What a mockery you made of that

But you said forever

Everyone says ‘say it ain’t so’

But you went somewhere I just could not go

What happened to the man who cherished me so

What happened to the man who I could easily follow

What happened to the man that I pledged my love to

Oh where, oh where did he go?

But you said forever, you let me go without a second glance

And now there’s no second chance

Because I’m a different woman and you’re a different man and this just wasn’t the plan

I’m on to new beginnings, where I thought you’d be too

I’m on a different path, one where I’m broken but renewed

It feels so unreal that I just had to flee

Can’t believe that we just can’t be

We were supposed to last

We were supposed to amass

We were supposed to surpass

But you let me down

Now we don’t even come around

It’s tragic really, two soul mates lost from each other

But I’m positive God will bring me another

So I close this chapter with a tear in my eye as I begrudgingly say goodbye

I’ll always cherish the memories

I’ll always celebrate our history

The years we made it were no small feat

It’s too bad we ended in defeat

But I love you truly and I always will

It’s just that love is not strong enough since it all went downhill

I wish you the best my love, I sincerely do

To the love of my life, I make the sacrifice so you can find what you need;

so you can finally succeed

I am soaring without you and it is so bittersweet

I wish you could get to know the woman who has landed on her feet

You are missing out on the best version of me, I’m making new strides that you will never

really see

It’s odd you couldn’t adapt to this me, she’s so much better than what you used to see

I never thought we’d outgrow each other, it’s too bad we are both headed to another

But I accept it, and I don’t contest it, there’s nothing left to mention

But you said forever…

In My Feelings

I’m sitting here feeling some kind of way
I’m wondering why you couldn’t stay?
Does everyone want the opposite of me?
Can’t we all just let things be?

So I am sitting here feeling some kind of way
I don’t quite recognize myself yet
But most importantly, we just met
I’m sorry I can’t get to your chapter
There’s too many other things to master

It was foolish of you to walk out of my life
All because I wouldn’t sacrifice
So I sit here feeling some kind of way
I’ve decided to make it all go away

There’s a void in me that only I can fill
There are so many things only I can heal
Things take time, they don’t happen overnight
If you had given it a chance, I could’ve, maybe, I might

But I sit here now, feeling some kind of way
Caught between a rock and a hard place, and saying “oh what a day”
I honestly didn’t think I was asking for too much
I just needed more time to adjust

So I sit here feeling some kind of way, wondering to myself what was all the fuss?
I was coming to terms with it all, just like I knew I must; so tell me what was the rush?
I was hoping you would break my fall
Too bad you wanted my all

So I am sitting here feeling some kind of way
I’ve retreated back into myself
It’s the only safe haven that I know
I can protect myself, I can perfect myself and I can make a new mold

It just bothers me to think of all the whys?
It just irks me that you didn’t even say a proper goodbye
So I will just sit here until I feel ok
Maybe one day I will extend an olive branch to you
But truthfully, I really doubt it because I already knew

My mind says move forward and leave it all to the past
It was never really meant to last
I mean, who really needs all this pressure?
Who really wants to deal with all these extreme measures?

So I will just sit here feeling some kind of way
At the end of the day, it will all be ok

~ Author Mara Prose

Why Can’t I

Why can’t I want the man that wants me
Why can’t I see in me what they see
Why do I gravitate towards the same type of men
The ones that are no good for me and make
all these demands

How many frogs do I have to kiss, before I find
my one true prince
Tired of all the disappointments
Tired of never knowing
Is it real, is it fake
It’s just too much to take

I’m attracted to the Mr. Big’s in life
The ones that bring so much strife
Hot one minute and cold the next
Can someone please explain this context?

My friends tell me it is the challenge that I love
They claim I love the thrill of the chase
But if that is the case, I am sick of falling
flat on my face

Why can’t I want the men that fall to their knees?
The ones that say baby be mine please?
The one that have proven their loyalty for years
The one’s that wipe away my tears when the Mr. Bigs
leave me with fears

Fears that all love is lost
Fears that I’m paying  a big cost
Fears that no one will ever get me
Fears that companionship is a faint memory

I told my girls it’s the solo life for me
There are just too many places that I have to be
It would be too hard for any man to follow
I would simply leave him feeling hollow

So why can’t I want the men that want me?
It’s simple, it is because I have standards and I’m just meant to be free.

~ Mara Prose

You Can’t Tame Me

There one day and gone the next
Nothing but a beautiful memory was left
I read the texts but now they make no sense,
so I’ve slowly done away with them

Was it a lesson learned? Maybe  Should I feel burned? Nah baby
Or should I just accept it?
The problem is, you can’t tie me down
I won’t allow you to make me frown
It simply wasn’t long enough to affect me

See, I took a chance on a romance and let you sell your fantasy
But your face quickly fell, and you reneged on the sell and we began to see the real deal
And then I woke up, realized my wings were stuck and that I needed to fly away
directly.

So we clashed and I tried to mend the gashes in the relationship we were trying to form.  But then I realized I don’t have any ties and it wasn’t worth the agonize.

You wanted to hide my light that is shining so bright because you couldn’t handle the glow.  But didn’t you know, didn’t I tell you so, I was never meant to be tamed.

You can’t tame me.  I am not meant to be caged.  You can’t tame me.
I won’t bend to your rage.  There is no meekness within me
and you misunderstood clearly and I am sorry you had to go.

I’m an eagle soaring here, there and everywhere.  Too bad you are no longer a care.  It is nice to be free, it is nice that I can flee, whenever the mood suits me.

Because I am looking for that someone that can match my blaze, where we will fall into a blissful haze, for days and days; who will never go away.  There will be no need to tame me because he will be the same as me.  That man will be my destiny.

~ Mara Prose

I SEE A MAN

Dedicated with all my love to my son Xavier Floyd who will one day become the man of someone’s dreams. Thank you for being your mother, Mara Prose’s, biggest fan.

I see a man who is misunderstood
I see a man who is assumed to be up to no good
I see a man who has a good heart
I see a man whose heart is regularly ripped apart
I see a man that wants to be loved
I see a man that focuses on heaven above
I see a man whose skin color is assumed to be a threat
I see a man whose own family he may one day come to regret
I see a man who shines bright as a star
I see a man whose life will be way above par
I see a man whose mother is the love of his life
I see a man who one day will find someone like his mother in a wife
Who is this man I see?
It is my son, my life, an extraordinary part of me.

ALL ABOUT OUR LOVE

There comes a point and time when we soar
only to crash and burn shortly thereafter
But our love prevails
We experience periods of burning passion
that is eventually doused by
stagnant emptiness
But our love prevails
I’ve fallen and you have dived and somehow we survived
Because we always catch each other
before our relationship demise
But our love prevails
It is because our love prevails
that we live and love on our own terms
It’s to the death because it’s all about our love

I BID YOU ADIEU

You could never understand me. That’s why you could never have me.  Your mind is on the superficial, my love’s is on the official.  Flattery only gets you so far but at the end of the day, I don’t have to sit around wishing on stars.  My life is like a fantasy, something you could never provide for me.  I sent you on your way long ago but for some reason you held out hope.  I’m here to tell you now that I plan to spend my life with the man that made me his wife.  Ce la vie!

DADDY, I LOVE YOU

Daddy you are on my mind
Daddy you were one of a kind
You made me who I am today
You said for me to always pray
I miss your stories and our long chats
I miss the way you made me laugh
I feel like I am walking in a dream
But I know you wouldn’t want me to be that extreme
Oh Daddy, I wish that you were still here
We had so many plans for next year
All I can do now is carry on your legacy
And rest in the knowledge that you are at peace
I am grateful I have another angel up there on my side
I know all this pain will eventually subside
And one day soon, I will be right next to you
Walking through paradise just like we always knew
I love you dear Daddy, may God rest your soul
I will see you in my dreams and until then I will uphold

THE MASKS WE WEAR

You smile, you grin and no one sees your sins
You laugh, you play with no one there at the end of the day
The masks we wear are uniquely prepared
To keep the world guessing and hide our despair
Black, white and all alike experience life’s crushing blows
Young and old, we are all the same because we all fear the untold
At the end of the day, no one can say that we are not all equally equipped to live bold

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

Trying to numb this pain to keep from going insane
Trying to rebuild my life without the strife
Trying to lose myself in a haze while praying for lesser long days
Want to feel like myself again and watch the stars roll by again
Want to feel peace deep within me, want the suffering to just let me be
Can’t I feel the sun again, have fun again, be one again?
I need a break before I break because I’ve had about all I can take
Can’t let you see the cracks since very few actually have my back
Can’t let myself be torn down, can’t let you see me frown, I’m not your clown
I’m working hard to elevate, not sedate and just relate
Trying my best to forget but not regret and remain set
Give me space, let me breathe please
Eventually you will be relieved for this too shall pass…

FOLLOW ME

Follow me through this journey
There’s no hurry
We are on God’s time
And that’s everlasting So make peace
Set sail And wash your cares away
In time, you will see the bay
It’s full of serenity
That’s all it needs to be Follow me

FALLEN

Catch me, mend me, break my fall
Can’t take another step without trust
Won’t accept sugar without substance

Catch me, mend me, break my fall
Guide the wind, smooth the storms
Make each day glorious

Catch me, mend me, break my fall
Promise to be there, stay true
Embrace me, keep the dust away

Catch me, mend me, break my fall
Make me yours
I don’t want to be one of the fallen

SWEET MEMORIES

Wanting something new but stuck with the old

Desiring that warm, fuzzy feeling but stuck in the cold

Do I stay or do I leave?
What about all the memories?

Wish I could go back to better times
When I was yours and you were mine

The emptiness is stifling, the entire situation has become trifling

I yearn for love’s burn

I crave to be saved

I worry that I’ve stopped crying
I worry that I’ve stopped trying

My indifference is an interference

He’s elusive while I’m awake
How much more can I take?

The look in my eyes says it all
I’ll just let the pieces fall

LOST AND FOUND

I’m lost without an anchor
I’m alone in a deep blue sea
I’m surrounded by beauty
But I just cannot see
My world is very turbulent
Full of blessings, lessons and to be’s
I strive for equilibrium
I strive to be free
There’s a new me in the making
It’s extraordinary to be taking
New journeys, new paths, new places far from my past
I’m excited, I’m afraid, I’m curious and I’m shaken
But I know what is promised
is just too good to let pass

A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS
In loving memory of my Uncle Claude Terry

He was a man for all seasons and it stood to reason that he would be admired and respected for all of his days
His courage and strength in his last remaining days were not without dignity and grace
He was a mover and shaker
A maker of all things greater
He overcame strife to live a prosperous life
and happily boasted of his prosperity
It was not done in conceit nor to compete, he simply did it for our posterity
Despite his memories starting to slip away, they could never erase the happiest of days
He often would vanish into his own world
And although at times these vanishings left him in a foggy haze, our Claude never drifted too far away
Until one day the Lord said it’s time my child for you to rest, you have done your best and passed all the tests
So our Claude closed his eyes for one last time
He drifted away much to our dismay and now the time has come for him to lay
He was a man for all seasons and there were so many reasons to admire, to cherish and
respect him
He was a class act, truly hard to follow and spent most of his life perfecting the art of commitment
He not only achieved it, and it’s not hard to admit to it but his success and legacy are just brilliant
So we say goodbye but only for a time because soon we will meet again
Pave a way for us Uncle Claude, because with you up there on our side, we know we can only expect the best for what’s to come
You were a man of all seasons and it stands to reason that we are all happy that you graced us with your presence
Rest now my special Uncle, you have earned it, you deserve it and you have our love eternal

A VOICE TO CARRY

He tried to smother her spirit, because he was afraid her voice would carry
He wanted to own her, so he asked her to marry
He thought I’ll manipulate her, convince her my way is the only way
And assert his mental control

And in her love, she followed, losing her mind and soul

His love was a projection, an expectation, that only went in one direction
She was rewarded if she complied but made to feel guilty if she denied
It wasn’t all bitter, there were certainly plenty of happy times

But her voice longed to carry, leading to their demise

He set out to crush her ego, to leave her nowhere to go
For many years, she laid dormant, conforming to his dreams
And for many years, her spirit continually screamed

It wanted to be released, respected, and to see a renewal of self esteem

There were many a day that were draining, in training for his ideals
His life was her life, his wants her wants, his direction, her direction
But her voice wanted to carry, but it wanted to carry without correction
Yet this did not fit the mold
So she began to feel hollow, to wallow and eventually unfold

For the future, for the past, they tried to make it last

But alas,

His tunnel vision, lead to her decision, to open the door to freedom
The freedom to be whole, to bring back the freedom he stole
She was viewed as a destroyer; spoiled and ungrateful
He resented her resistance, he resented her voice and its reappearance

It was a threat and made him feel disdainful

Life with him was one big ultimatum,  but she finally refused to take them
She began to make new demands, commands and walk across new lands
Insecurity became the measure that obliterated their treasure
She discovered the life he had planned, was of one from which she ran

Because as a young girl, her mother had made similar demands

If his love had been unconditional, then their love would have been positioned
For longevity, for perseverance, and would still be in existence

But her voice longed to carry

THIS IS MY PATH

I never thought I’d see the day
Where our love would ebb and go away

I always thought we would be one
I never thought we’d be undone

I always imagined a storybook ending
I never knew we would be past mending

Was it worth it? Who knows,
It’s still being written

There are times I’m lonely but then there
are times remotely, I feel a sense of peace,
wonder and refined emotion

Because now I have a new lease on life
Now I have a world without strife

I’ve said my goodbyes much to everyone’s surprise
I’ve cried my tears and dried my eyes

I’m mending my heart and learning to live apart
Will I love again? Maybe, I could start

My priorities lie in loving myself
I don’t have to change anymore
I can just be thyself

I let it all go because it was what was best for me
I needed a change, I needed to be free

I’ve spread my wings and hope I don’t fall
I’m following a new path, I’m following my call

It’s hard, it’s taxing and some days seem so blue
But then God sends a sign for me to remain true

I am grateful for the strength to press on
I am grateful for the people I can fall back upon

The story is being written right before our eyes
All the new developments are a wonderful prize

So I accept my new journey and I am in no hurry
I want to enjoy the experiences, I don’t want my memories to be blurry

Because this is my path and I have to make it last
This is my path and let’s just leave it at that

PARALYSIS

The ‘shoulds’ paralyze me
They lead to the what ifs, the maybes and the could haves
My target is never stagnant and does not allow me to move
I am unhinged and hindered

My doubts subdue me
My failures asphyxiate me
My gains seem miniscule

My mind prepares a catechism
It just can’t let me rest
What’s right?  What’s wrong?
What’s my truth?  Am I really strong?

My curiosity sacrifices me to injunction
I trial. I tribulate.
I wonder. I investigate.

What I desire is not always mastered
What I master is not always consummated
So I freeze and second guess

The shoulds paralyze me
I am a hostage to its psychological strangulation
I must bargain for my release
I have to be aware of my capabilities
I must believe in all that is me
Even if that means leaving life more of a mystery

The shoulds are a guide, a formula that doesn’t always add up
Convention can equate to confinement
Rejection can equate to judgment
But the world is not our jury
Yet, the shoulds still paralyze me

THERE’S A TIME AND A PLACE

You’ve peaked my interest, that is plain to see
At a time of independence, at a time for just me
I’m trying not to think about you but I simply
can’t resist it

Go away I say but no come back
Hmmm., do I see where it leads and cut you
some slack?
Can’t say I am ready for all that
There’s still too much to do
But you have caught my eye
But I can’t make you my boo

The timing is all wrong but you sing a pretty song
It’s tempting me to test those waters
It’s tempting me to take it farther

Go away I say but no come back
Can’t we just stay friends or will
we get off track?

So go away I say but no please come back
Don’t stray too far but don’t push too hard
For now, just be patient and let me just admire
from afar

BLISS

The clouds are gone
The rain has ceased
Life is good and
I’m at peace

I’m no longer falling apart
If anything, I am a lot more smart

I have friends and family I treasure
I have a significant other I adore
For now, just know he is mi amor

It’s good to be back
I’ve been gone too long
But now I’m strong and
I’ve righted all my wrongs

I’m in BLISS, what can I say
Nothing is amiss, I’m just in BLISS

Please let me keep my bliss
You know who you are
Just let me go, let me fly and say your final goodbyes
Don’t ask why
Just wish me well and don’t raise hell
Because I’m in BLISS

THE FIRE WITHIN

It aches, it burns, but yet I yearn
The passion is so addicting but its staying power is wilting
I crave the highs and ride out the lows
I daydream of you and me until I am forced back into reality
I want, I need, I must be sensible.  I’m a mother don’t you know
Let it go I say, let it go, the distraction is too costly
Let it go I say, I don’t want to keep falling
I had to renew my focus.  I am sorry you feel used but it is not my intention to abuse
You were just never meant to be a permanent part of the equation
It’s harsh, it’s cold, it’s cruel and it’s bold.  But I left nothing untold.  You are free to try
and hold.  But my life is often in disarray and I don’t have energy to explain it all away.
I’m fascinating to you because I don’t chase you.  You are intrigued by me because you
don’t quite get me.
The fire within burns furiously but I am trying to make it simmer
I don’t want this liability because it makes me a causality
Can’t you just let it be?  Why does it have to be something more?
Let me heal, let me grow, let me enjoy everything I am coming to know.
Let’s calm the fire within

BACK TO HAPPY

Can you see it?  Does it show?  Back to happy, let it flow
It’s been a long time, don’t you know
But I’m back and ready to go!

No illusions, nothing fake
It’s all original and always more than I anticipate
The time is beautiful and I’m awake.

Can you see it?  Does it show? Back to happy, let it flow!
It’s been a long time, don’t you know
But I’m back and ready to go!

I’m dancing on cloud nine, everyday I leave more and more behind
A lot of things long forgotten, are resurfacing
Like butterflies, low tides, and just going along for the ride

Can you see it?  Does it show? Back to happy, let it flow!
It’s been a long time, don’t you know
But I’m back and ready to go!

COME THRU

I just want to come thru
Just simply take some time to see you
I don’t want the pressure of expectations
I just want something new

I just want to come thru
I don’t want to stay for long
I don’t want to treat you wrong
But I’m just not ready to prolong

I just want to come thru
Check out your view
I honestly can’t stay
I just kind of want to play

Will you let me come thru?
Will you accept all that is true?
Can you understand I have a plan?
Can you accept that it is not all about a man?

I just want to come thru
Don’t be offended, it is not really about you
I simply can’t stay for long
I truly, truly don’t want to treat you wrong
I’m just not ready to prolong

I CAN’T, I DON’T AND I WON’T

I could heal you, but I won’t
I could fight for you, but I don’t
I could make you love me, but I can’t
Mostly because it’s unnecessary work, so save your rants

Your insecurities are not my responsibility
Your emotional baggage will not be my testimony
I don’t have time to force you to trust
It is just plain and simply a must

We’ve all been through ups and downs
It’s all about how you turn it around
Stop being afraid to open your heart
Just find someone that sets themselves apart

I hear that you don’t want to be hurt
But it’s not really something you can avert
Stop punishing the world for the jerks
Just be cautious and find the one that works

I can’t fix you if you are broken
I don’t need to mend you if you are torn
If you need a savior, I won’t be the one
It is not my job to fix you, I will simply say I’m done

See me when you are whole
Hit me up when you are bold
Let me know when you are ready
And then maybe I can promise something steady
Until then I can’t, I don’t and I won’t

 

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