Picture courtesy of Thai Language Tuition
This will be short and sweet but I have to Thank God for where I am today, as opposed to where I was last year around this very same time. Last April, I was laid off but this April is bringing a brand new opportunity, with a nice pay increase and the ability to work from home. Last April, I wasn’t happy with my gas guzzling car, this April I have a new, fuel efficient one. Last April, I wasn’t happy where I was living, this April I am moving into a bigger and better place in a great location that I absolutely love!
My point is, God restores and He restores abundantly. Stay strong, faithful, determined, and patient. The storms do not last forever.
~ Mara Prose
Picture Courtesy of Urbanette Magazine
I find this Vanity Article by Nancy Jo Sales so disheartening. How empty and shallow the world has become. I was really turned off by the way the men boasted of their sexual conquests in this article . However, I am not surprised because it is just the way our world is right now, and I do not see it getting any better. When people claim someone is talented based off of their ability to exchange a few text messages and wind up in bed with a total stranger – it is no wonder we elected someone like Trump into office. SMH! ~ Author Mara Prose
It’s a balmy night in Manhattan’s financial district, and at a sports bar called Stout, everyone is Tindering. The tables are filled with young women and men who’ve been chasing money and deals on Wall Street all day, and now they’re out looking for hookups. Everyone is drinking, peering into their screens and swiping on the faces of strangers they may have sex with later that evening. Or not. “Ew, this guy has Dad bod,” a young woman says of a potential match, swiping left. Her friends smirk, not looking up.
“Tinder sucks,” they say. But they don’t stop swiping.
At a booth in the back, three handsome twentysomething guys in button-downs are having beers. They are Dan, Alex, and Marty, budding investment bankers at the same financial firm, which recruited Alex and Marty straight from an Ivy League campus. (Names and some identifying details have been changed for this story.) When asked if they’ve been arranging dates on the apps they’ve been swiping at, all say not one date, but two or three: “You can’t be stuck in one lane … There’s always something better.” “If you had a reservation somewhere and then a table at Per Se opened up, you’d want to go there,” Alex offers.
He says that he himself has slept with five different women he met on Tinder—“Tinderellas,” the guys call them—in the last eight days. Dan and Marty, also Alex’s roommates in a shiny high-rise apartment building near Wall Street, can vouch for that. In fact, they can remember whom Alex has slept with in the past week more readily than he can.
“Brittany, Morgan, Amber,” Marty says, counting on his fingers. “Oh, and the Russian—Ukrainian?”
“Ukrainian,” Alex confirms. “She works at—” He says the name of a high-end art auction house. Asked what these women are like, he shrugs. “I could offer a résumé, but that’s about it … Works at J. Crew; senior at Parsons; junior at Pace; works in finance … ”
“We don’t know what the girls are like,” Marty says.
“And they don’t know us,” says Alex.
And yet a lack of an intimate knowledge of his potential sex partners never presents him with an obstacle to physical intimacy, Alex says. Alex, his friends agree, is a Tinder King, a young man of such deft “text game”—“That’s the ability to actually convince someone to do something over text,” Marty explains—that he is able to entice young women into his bed on the basis of a few text exchanges, while letting them know up front he is not interested in having a relationship.
“How does he do it?,” Marty asks, blinking. “This guy’s got a talent.”
But Marty, who prefers Hinge to Tinder (“Hinge is my thing”), is no slouch at “racking up girls.” He says he’s slept with 30 to 40 women in the last year: “I sort of play that I could be a boyfriend kind of guy,” in order to win them over, “but then they start wanting me to care more … and I just don’t.”
“Do you think this culture is misogynistic?” he asks lightly.
As the polar ice caps melt and the earth churns through the Sixth Extinction, another unprecedented phenomenon is taking place, in the realm of sex. Hookup culture, which has been percolating for about a hundred years, has collided with dating apps, which have acted like a wayward meteor on the now dinosaur-like rituals of courtship. “We are in uncharted territory” when it comes to Tinder et al., says Justin Garcia, a research scientist at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. “There have been two major transitions” in heterosexual mating “in the last four million years,” he says. “The first was around 10,000 to 15,000 years ago, in the agricultural revolution, when we became less migratory and more settled,” leading to the establishment of marriage as a cultural contract. “And the second major transition is with the rise of the Internet.”
People used to meet their partners through proximity, through family and friends, but now Internet meeting is surpassing every other form. “It’s changing so much about the way we act both romantically and sexually,” Garcia says. “It is unprecedented from an evolutionary standpoint.” As soon as people could go online they were using it as a way to find partners to date and have sex with. In the 90s it was Craigslist and AOL chat rooms, then Match.com and Kiss.com. But the lengthy, heartfelt e-mails exchanged by the main characters in You’ve Got Mail (1998) seem positively Victorian in comparison to the messages sent on the average dating app today. “I’ll get a text that says, ‘Wanna fuck?’ ” says Jennifer, 22, a senior at Indiana University Southeast, in New Albany. “They’ll tell you, ‘Come over and sit on my face,’ ” says her friend, Ashley, 19.
Mobile dating went mainstream about five years ago; by 2012 it was overtaking online dating. In February, one study reported there were nearly 100 million people—perhaps 50 million on Tinder alone—using their phones as a sort of all-day, every-day, handheld singles club, where they might find a sex partner as easily as they’d find a cheap flight to Florida. “It’s like ordering Seamless,” says Dan, the investment banker, referring to the online food-delivery service. “But you’re ordering a person.”
The comparison to online shopping seems an apt one. Dating apps are the free-market economy come to sex. The innovation of Tinder was the swipe—the flick of a finger on a picture, no more elaborate profiles necessary and no more fear of rejection; users only know whether they’ve been approved, never when they’ve been discarded. OkCupid soon adopted the function. Hinge, which allows for more information about a match’s circle of friends through Facebook, and Happn, which enables G.P.S. tracking to show whether matches have recently “crossed paths,” use it too. It’s telling that swiping has been jocularly incorporated into advertisements for various products, a nod to the notion that, online, the act of choosing consumer brands and sex partners has become interchangeable.
“It’s instant gratification,” says Jason, 26, a Brooklyn photographer, “and a validation of your own attractiveness by just, like, swiping your thumb on an app. You see some pretty girl and you swipe and it’s, like, oh, she thinks you’re attractive too, so it’s really addicting, and you just find yourself mindlessly doing it.” “Sex has become so easy,” says John, 26, a marketing executive in New York. “I can go on my phone right now and no doubt I can find someone I can have sex with this evening, probably before midnight.”
It is the very abundance of options provided by online dating which may be making men less inclined to treat any particular woman as a “priority,” according to David Buss, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin who specializes in the evolution of human sexuality. “Apps like Tinder and OkCupid give people the impression that there are thousands or millions of potential mates out there,” Buss says. “One dimension of this is the impact it has on men’s psychology. When there is a surplus of women, or a perceived surplus of women, the whole mating system tends to shift towards short-term dating. Marriages become unstable. Divorces increase. Men don’t have to commit, so they pursue a short-term mating strategy. Men are making that shift, and women are forced to go along with it in order to mate at all.”
Now hold on there a minute. “Short-term mating strategies” seem to work for plenty of women too; some don’t want to be in committed relationships, either, particularly those in their 20s who are focusing on their education and launching careers. Alex the Wall Streeter is overly optimistic when he assumes that every woman he sleeps with would “turn the tables” and date him seriously if she could. And yet, his assumption may be a sign of the more “sinister” thing he references, the big fish swimming underneath the ice: “For young women the problem in navigating sexuality and relationships is still gender inequality,” says Elizabeth Armstrong, a professor of sociology at the University of Michigan who specializes in sexuality and gender. “Young women complain that young men still have the power to decide when something is going to be serious and when something is not—they can go, ‘She’s girlfriend material, she’s hookup material.’ … There is still a pervasive double standard. We need to puzzle out why women have made more strides in the public arena than in the private arena.”
Continue reading the rest of the article at http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating
My daughter turned me onto Sabrina Claudio’s music this morning. Sometimes, the lyrics of a song accurately reflect your soul – and this song really describes where I’m at in life. I am a new fan for sure now. Be sure to check out her song, Confidently Lost. ~ Mara Prose
Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song. No copyright infringement intended.
I am confidently lost
I don’t need you to find me
‘Cause I’m not hiding
Thinking about where I’ve gone
Where I’m going
And I wouldn’t change it for the world
Thinking about where I’m from
If I belong there
But I wouldn’t change it for anything
(I wouldn’t change it for anything)
Picture Courtesy of HealthGlu
I decided to continue with the theme of Logging Out – cutting back on frivolous and pointless social media activities. We recently purchased my daughter a new IPhone, but it started to malfunction only a few weeks after receiving it. We sent it back this past week for an exchange, and for the first few days, she was absolutely miserable. However, yesterday, she said “Mom, let’s take Maddie (our Yorkie) and go to the park.” We laid out a blanket and enjoyed the cool breeze, watching the little kids chase the ducks by the pond, and exercising our little dog. My daughter then told me that the past few days, she has really come to enjoy not having her phone. She said she felt like she was able to just enjoy the present and no longer missed checking her Instagram and Snapchat every few minutes. She did miss texting with her friends though, but the fact that she did not miss those superficial applications tells me that we really do appreciate more authentic interaction with one another.
While in research for this week’s Mara Prose Monday post, I stumbled across Allison’s blog post and wanted to share it with my Prosers. I encourage everyone to really start focusing more on the present and putting their phones down more. I admit, there are still many times I reach for my phone to post where I am at, what I am doing or how I feel about something. However, I remind myself that the moment at hand is meant for the individuals presently in it and not those clicking away behind their computers who probably could careless where I am or what I am doing, LOL! Now, I tend to only post when I want something saved to the memory function of Facebook so I can see it next year, it is directly Mara Prose related or I want to share my pride in my children by posting pictures of them.
You may ask why the sudden change and I have thought about that myself. I think it is the simple fact of maturity and the fact that I no longer need to prove anything to the world. I do not crave acceptance, validation nor do I desire to have anyone idealize my life. Everyday, I grow more and more private and feel the need to keep more and more to myself because it just feels good to me to do so. It is simply a matter of being in a really good place in life with so many positive things on the horizon, that I do not want any negativity clouding all my happy vibes right now; less is definitely more at this point in time.
Enjoy Allison’s post below! ~ Mara Prose
Is Facebook making you depressed? If so, you’re not alone. According to a recent study (link is external) by UK disability charity Scope, of 1500 Facebook and Twitter users surveyed, 62 percent reported feeling inadequate and 60 percent reported feelings of jealousy from comparing themselves to other users.
I’ve heard similar complaints from friends and I’ve felt it myself on a bad day. Most frequently, I hear such statements from those who are struggling with depression. It makes sense that if you are already in a low mood or not feeling good about yourself, having pictures of happy couples and smiling babies pop up on your screen on a consistent basis may make you feel worse. The same is true if you tend to generally have a negative outlook on life.
If Facebook posts depress you, the solution is simple. Here are four things you can do today to help you cope:
Should you really take the four actions above?
In a 2015 study (link is external) on the effects of Facebook use on mental health, researchers at the University of Missouri discovered that regular use could lead to symptoms of depression if the site triggered feelings of envy in the user.
“If it is used as a way to size up one’s own accomplishments against others, it can have a negative effect,” said Professor Margaret Duffy, one of the professors who co-authored the research. She explains that if it’s used “to see how well an acquaintance is doing financially or how happy an old friend is in his relationship – things that cause envy among users – use of the site can lead to feelings of depression.”
However, those who use the site primarily to feel connected do not experience the negative effects. In fact, when not triggering feelings of envy, the study shows, Facebook could be a good resource and have positive effects on well-being.
Further studies have shown that the majority of social media users tend to edit and post only their most attractive pictures, or ‘put a rose-tinted gloss over their lives’ in an effort to idealize themselves and, researchers believe, to improve others’ impressions of them.
To avoid Facebook-induced depression, users should be aware of the risks of using the site as a tool of comparison. Furthermore, users should be aware that most people are presenting a biased, positive version of reality on social media. Finally, if you’re still feeling down, angry, or generally disillusioned because of the positive news shared by your Facebook friends, on or offline, you should question why you feel that way.
Barring clinical depression or a recent life setback, is it really such a bad thing to see another human being enjoying life, especially if it’s a friend- or at least someone you tolerate enough to accept as a Facebook friend?
With all of the suffering and pain in the world, wouldn’t it be a tragedy if people stopped sharing joyful events for fear of making someone else jealous? Imagine if people only discussed all of the negative things that surrounded them. Especially over this past year, don’t we have enough tragic posts appearing in our newsfeeds 24/7?
Given that there will always be someone who’s taller, richer, better-looking, who has more friends, a better job, etc., we can either allow ourselves to fall into the dangerous trap of comparison, or we can choose to remember that regardless of what others around you appear to have, everyone is grappling with their own struggles. For every promotion, book deal and Tony nomination, chances are, the recipient has experienced equally or more significant life setbacks.
Also important to remember is that for every person that seems to have more, there is another with less. For each individual whose qualities you covet, there’s someone out there who wishes they had what you have. If we can’t change our outer circumstances, at least we can try to change our perspective and learn to be grateful for what we have. We can also learn to celebrate other’s successes. Sharing in other people’s joy can often lift our spirits.
“Be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins” – Jim Stovall
These suggestions may be difficult, especially if you’re struggling with low self-worth or depression. If that is the case, seek help from a friend or a professional. Whether it’s reaching out for support, practicing gratitude or simply surrounding yourself with more of the positive, you owe it to yourself to make the best out of this life.
Stop torturing yourself by comparing your life with everyone else’s positively biased representations of theirs. Seek to improve your own life in a realistic manner. Choose to look at the positives and to celebrate your wins… as well as theirs.
Lately, I have become less and less interested in Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. These platforms lack very little substance and I am bored with the selfies, the hateful comments and the overall nonsense that is so prominent in these places. While I can never absolutely disconnect due to my Mara Prose promotions, I can cut back and live life in the present more often. After listening to others that I know feel the same way or they are simply giving it up for Lent, I decided I would follow suit and here is why.
My morning walks where I pray and meditate are so peaceful and relaxing. They really center me for the day and I just feel so consumed with God’s love. However, I feel like I have been tarnishing these moments by checking in daily on Facebook with the status that I was walking, praying and meditating. I finally decided, why does anyone else need to be a part of this moment? What do I really gain by allowing the world to know that I am spending my time with God? I have carved out that time for Him, so let it just be about He and I!
The time I was wasting on social media, posting, checking in, reading articles and scrolling through comments, could very well be devoted to Mara Prose. Now that I am working on book 2 for The Davenports series, developing a script and promoting my poetry, I do not have time for things that do not add any value towards my pursuit of a writing career. Even with the cutbacks on my frivolous social media past time, I still struggle with managing to find time to accomplish all the promoting I need to accomplish; which is all the more reason to re-prioritize.
I find it really rude to be on your phone constantly in a social environment. I have been guilty of this as well, but now I am really tired of it. If I am having a conversation with you, I want to have a conversation with you without looking at the top of your head while you type something into your phone. If you are too busy to actively participate and stay focused on the conversation, then we simply do not need to waste each other’s time hanging out.
I am also tired of being around people who cannot listen to what you are saying because they are too busy trying to talk over you, as if what they have to say is so much more important than what you have to say. I really attribute this behavior to people lacking social skills due to the dominance of social media interactions. I have found I have a much better time with people who rarely get on Facebook and who are not overly concerned with what others are posting.
I was chatting with a friend of mine, and she was explaining that around 40, you begin to simplify and realize less is more. You also really start to look at your friendships and focus on the more meaningful ones – the ones that make you feel good, where you can be a 100% authentic and you don’t just continue with them because you have known each other for a long time.
There are several people in my life who regularly keep up with what I am doing solely based on my Facebook posts. There are others who act like a friend, but are just being nosy about my life from my posts. Whatever the case may be, disconnecting eliminates this annoyance, removes the fake friends and leaves me with only the TRUE friends who willingly make time and effort towards our friendship. When the only avenue towards a connection with me is phone calls and plans to meet up, it is interesting to see how many people fall right out of your life. I have even decided to cut back on my responses to texting since it is still a very lazy method at keeping in touch.
I am still in the very early stages of changing these habits. It is going to take some work not to overshare when I get excited about positive things in my life. I also like to check into places, but it is going to be so freeing to be able to just go wherever I want to go and simply enjoy the moment without a broadcast. I am all about making lifestyle changes right now, and I believe this one is going to bring a lot of peace of mind.
~ Mara Prose
Picture Courtesy of NaijaNewsPlus
have standards; step up or step out.” – Steve Maraboli
You ever meet someone, man or woman, romantic or platonic, real or fake, that makes you feel bad for having standards? I’m talking about those folks who take “humility” to a whole other level (i.e. one that shouldn’t ever be reached)?
Recently, I was talking to a male friend of mine who isn’t in the best—but also not the worst—situation financially. We were talking about the qualities we’d like for our significant others to possess and the usual characteristics came up. You know, stable employment, a kind and generous heart, someone who is funny, intelligent, consistent and faithful, etc. Then he went into self-deprecating mode:
“See, that woman right there [insert random acquaintance he knows] is my type of woman. But a man like me can’t get a chick like her. She won’t date a regular dude. She wants a dude who has it all together.”
Whenever my friend gets in this mode—which I still have yet to determine if jealousy or a self-esteem issue is the culprit—I cringe. It’s like a combination of complaining, not being confident enough in what he brings to the table and judging women based on their preferences equate to this annoyance of a concoction. He says things like, “She needs to get her a regular dude” or “That type of woman won’t mess with a blue collar guy. She’s probably all about the money.” Keyword: PROBABLY. In other words, he counts himself out of the race for her heart before the “Go!” shot is even fired.
Each and every time I ask him to elaborate on why he feels this way, it all goes back to how she looks, how she dresses and the life that she appears to live from the outside looking in.
I’m not going to sit here and pretend like we all don’t want that ride or die mate. But perhaps, if you are running into women who aren’t interested in dating you due to your financial status, maybe you should work on becoming a bit more stable in that department.
Granted, gold-diggers do exist, but every woman who does not desire to “struggle” with a man does not fit into that category. I’m not saying that blue collar men struggle. I’m smart enough to know that your intelligence, connections and work ethic—not the type of work that you do—is what truly leads to wealth and success. But it seems like a growing number of men, hell people, don’t seem to know the difference.
My friend is one of many men I’ve encountered who thinks a woman won’t date them because they’re not rich. In their minds, not being wealthy means their “broke,” which just isn’t the case. And while this may be true in some instances, sometimes a woman has already struggled with a man. Sometimes, a woman knows how her heart is set up and she will end up taking on said man’s emotional, physical and financial burdens instead of functioning cohesively as a unit in the relationship. And honestly, sometimes she doesn’t want to revisit the “land of hard times.” It’s usually no different than any other preference someone has regarding a potential mate.
Let’s revisit my friend for a second. The problem isn’t his paycheck, it’s his confidence. Granted, for the most part, folks do well by staying in their lanes, so to speak. He’s decided to date women he believes will date and accept him, “broke” and all—and acceptance is a big part of a healthy loving relationship. Requiring that which you are willing to give is also a key factor.
But then there are those who do not allow themselves to be defined by “lanes.” Usually, confidence is a big determinant of where you fit.
Women aren’t obligated to date a man who is struggling. If we prefer someone who is more financially stable, that does not mean that we are heartless, gold-digging and superficial. It simply means that maybe your paycheck isn’t the issue, but your character and confidence is. A woman isn’t always disinterested in you because of your pay grade. Sometimes she just isn’t interested. And instead of finding reasons to discount yourself or calling her greedy, fake and/or selfish, maybe you should remember that she doesn’t owe you an explanation.
Shantell E. Jamison is a digital editor for EBONY. She moderates various events centered on love, relationships, politics and wellness and has appeared on panels throughout the country. Her book, “Drive Yourself in the Right Direction” is available now. Keep up with Shantell via her website, Facebook, Twitter @Shantell_em and Instagram @Shantell_em.
Image courtesy of Chico’s
I have always loved fashion and have been known to be a shopaholic, like most women. Chico’s is hands down is one of my favorite stores. I have been a faithful shopper since 2003. After my layoff last year, I interviewed with A’Cynthia Villery, who was the assistant manager at the time, for a part time sales associate position and was hired on the spot. Since that time, A’Cynthia has been promoted to the well deserved position of manager and has hosted three fashion shows – all of which I have been in attendance to show my support.
This past Sunday, she held a Spring Fashion and when she asked me to blog the event, I happily accepted. We had an amazing event where various vendors sponsored their services and products; and I was allowed to showcase my writing. Here are a few of the many highlights from the event.
If you see an item of interest that you would like to purchase, be sure to call the Pearland Store at 713-340-1368www.chicos.com and ask for A’Cynthia .
While you are certainly welcome to order online, please remember that Chico’s offers FREE style appointments – which provide you with a one on one experience with an expert stylist to help you select the best fit and colors so that you always, always look your most amazing self.
For the Spring Collection, Chico’s has implemented a Girlfriend theme. We all love to shop with our girlfriends and this inspires camaraderie amongst all females. This was very evident based on the numbers that turned out for A’Cynthia’s event.
Here, model Erica, is wearing the Francis Fringe Poncho in Chive Green. She has paired it with the popular Girlfriend Crop Pants. These pants are sell quickly because they are so flattering and comfortable. They have a lot of give and are very slimming.
Model Kim graced the runway wearing the Chico’s Tribal Border Off-the-Shoulder top, accompanied with a Denim Girlfriend Skirt. This is a nice, cool and comfortable outfit for a hot, summer day.
More amazing looks from models Katherine (Katy), Sarah and Roz
A’Cynthia also loves to pay it forward and extends a special thank you to the following sponsors:
Owned by Demetra Mitchell – who beautifully planned and coordinated the event. Visit her website for more details http://www.partyof2designs.com
Owned by Nina Fitzhugh – who supplied the beautiful and delicious Italian Crème Cake you see above. Visit her Facebook page to place your order https://www.facebook.com/cakeandeatittooinsiennaplantation/
Tastefully Simple Consultant Nicky Watson – sponsored tasty snacks from the new TS Catalog. Contact her today to find out more preparation and inquire about her easy, quick and affordable meal preps. https://www.tastefullysimple.com/web/nwatson
Author Paula Drew-Fleming (our associate) and her co-author Alexis Thal Yancey introduced us to: Divorce. Wilderness. Peace and conducted a mini workshop to discuss how their book helps women overcome and heal from a recent divorce.
Last but certainly not least, I showcased my blog and the prologue and synopsis for my coming novel, The Davenports: A Battle of Wills. I now offer social media marketing, blogging, copywriting and copyediting services at affordable prices. I also mentor and coach aspiring authors, so please feel free to contact me for more information. firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you see an item of interest that you would like to purchase, be sure to call the Pearland Store at 713-340-1368 and ask for A’Cynthia www.chicos.com.
While you are certainly welcome to order online, please remember that Chico’s offers FREE style appointments – which provide you with a one on one experience with an expert stylist to help you select the best fit and colors so that you always, always look your most amazing self.
~ Mara Prose
I receive a lot of inquiries about my upcoming novel, especially after reading the prologue. I decided I would give my Prosers a little preview from one of my chapters. The Davenports will grace us with their presence December 2017! Thank you for remaining interested and supportive! ~ Mara Prose
Deep in her soul, she had a yearning to bring justice to those responsible for her brother’s death. She never believed it was an accident; wouldn’t allow herself to accept that fate would be that cruel to her. She was furious with her father’s cold disregard of the passing of her beloved brother. Since Cale had been her father’s pride and joy, she had expected him to honor her brother by launching an additional investigation after the ruling of accidental death was made. Much to her dismay, Makhail simply isolated himself and moved on as if her brother had never existed.
The pain from these memories still burned strongly within her. She had never been able to let it go, and nothing she did allowed the wounds of her loss to heal. This trip home was imperative to her future – not only for healing but for vengeance. Alessandra wanted the world to pay for the void left in her life, and the first person to suffer would be her father, Makhail Davenport.
Photo courtesy of http://www.popmatters.com
Not long ago, Gabrielle Reece, the world famous model, volleyball star and wife to pro surfer Laird Hamilton, sparked controversy with her new memoir “My Foot Is Too Big For The Glass Slipper”. In her memoir, she claims that ” to truly be feminine means being soft, receptive, and submissive.” It just so happens that around the same time, I was enjoying a day full of watching old classic movies. One of my favorites is Gone with the Wind. When I heard about Gabrielle’s controversy, I immediately thought of the stark differences between Scarlett O’Hara and Melanie Wilkes.
The question is, do men prefer a Scarlett or a Melanie? Let’s use the Scarlett and Melanie characters from the movie as a basis for a comparison/contrast to the modern woman.
She truly has to be one of the most popular characters in cinema and classic fiction. Even if you have not seen the movie, most are familiar with the characteristic traits of Scarlett. She was spoiled, ruthless, conniving but a survivor. However, she was not always like that. In the beginning, she was hopeful, in love and plotting a future with a man she felt she loved. It was the harsh realities of the war that changed her and made her cold, calculating and money hungry. She became fiercely independent, despite her many marriages. In the majority of those marriages, it was obvious that she was the one to wear the pants.
Melanie is the polar opposite of Scarlett. She is sweet, indulgent and self sacrificing. She puts her husband’s needs and everyone else’s ahead of her own. She is so submissive to her husband, that she even participates in his self perpetuated illusion of a world that allows him to avoid facing reality due to his cowardice. Despite being drawn to Scarlett, Ashley knew she was too much for him and chose Melanie because she was more like him. Melanie is still a pillar of strength, similar to Scarlett, she just goes about it in faithful and loyal manner. The Melanie’s of the world are the homemakers. They take great pride in their families. They allow their husbands to lead and they don’t mind being the background to their foreground.
This leaves us with the question, who would make a better wife- Scarlett or Melanie? Which one do most men seek out?
I believe there will always be a debate about whether or not a woman should be submissive to her man. A lot of women view submissiveness as a detriment to their independence. Yet, there is the other spectrum that believes wholeheartedly the man should be the head of the household. In Gabrielle’s memoir, she felt the reason her marriage is such a success is due to her submissiveness.
Is this why so many women are choosing to remain single; because men are really seeking the meek and mild? I would love to hear what others think about this topic. Feel free to leave your comments to spark up a discussion on this topic and remember to keep it respectful!
~ Mara Prose
It’s a reblog kinda day for Tuesday Thoughts! Enjoy! 🙂
I really appreciate the positive feedback pouring in from new followers to my blog. It is very motivating to be touching the lives of so many across the globe.
I have come to realize that some of my recent blog posts have cast a negative impression on past events in my life. So just for clarity’s sake, let me redirect my readers to the true purpose of my writing.
Writing is second nature to me. It’s a cleansing that allows me to reflect, relate and release. I like to share my insights and experiences with others because there are so many people that desire to be understood. Our society encourages people to walk the same walk and talk the same talk.
My rebellious nature cannot stand for people to put me in a box and define me by our society’s rigid standards. Many are drawn to me and then easily flustered. These…
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I found this very interesting and thought I would share it for Thursday Thoughts. I would love to hear what others feel about this topic.
When I say the word “no”, I mean it. Unless someone is offering some of their food, because in that case I’m just trying to be polite. But in almost every other situation, the word no means what the dictionary says it means. No is equivalent to no, a definitive denial or refusal towards, for, or about something. This principle of saying the word “no” and meaning it applies to everything, except interactions between a man and a woman when she says she is not interested. When a man is pursuing a woman either romantically, sexually, or both, it seems like the word “no” and the phrase “no thank you” or even the utterance of “no I am not interested” is hardly taken seriously. Apparently in our society “no” means “yes sir, keep trying, I’ll come around.”
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Picture courtesy of Truth Follower
At this time last year, my world was unrecognizable. It was turned upside due to back to back hardships. I took some time to reflect on all of it and thought to myself ‘Wow’, I have come a long way. I had trouble verbalizing my amazement, so I threw it all into a poem. Enjoy! ~ Mara Prose
It took something extreme
to bring me to my knees
It took a great fall
and losing it all
for me to stall
and simply crawl
My ego took blows
and I completely froze
Everything I had taken for granted
left me stranded
due to being reprimanded
by Life, by God, my own Foolish Pride
I looked back at this time last year
and accessed all my fears
and took note of all my tears
and somehow I persevered
They say God will humble you
and boy, did He ever
I don’t know why I thought I was so clever
I don’t know why but I know I will never
Let myself return to those silly ways
I have set the bar higher and must continue to blaze
The lessons were harsh
but they made me smart
and gave me a new start
They helped me set myself apart
and I was forced to depart
From people who meant me no good
From those who always misunderstood
From the things that were in excess
From the things that just caused distress
So I could simply evolve and be blessed
There were times I didn’t think I’d make it through
There were times that I was oh so blue
Oh, if you only knew
But I found my inner strength
For my children’s sake
And now I can be an example
since I’ve handled, dismantled and unscrambled
and took lots of gambles
But for now, let me stop this ramble since I am no longer in shambles
I’m proud but in a new way
I’m proud because despite the dismay
I overcame, I slayed and made up for those days
All because of harsh lessons…
Picture courtesy of DeanRoberts.net
Waiting until I hear my name
Waiting because I have something to gain
Waiting because I’m in no hurry
Waiting because He says I have a new journey
Waiting because my career is taking off
Waiting because there’s a big payoff
Waiting because He gave me a new focus
Waiting because He said only small doses
Waiting to hear His call
Waiting because He told me to start small
Waiting because I see a new mission
Waiting because I need His permission
I’m waiting on God, He guides my every step
I’m waiting on Him, because he knows what is best
I’m waiting on God, because He is always reliable
I’m waiting on Him, because His favor is undeniable
Here is the performance of my poem, Paralysis! I am so very proud of this accomplishment! Huge thanks to the festival for poetry!!
Poetry performed by Geoff Mays
Get to know the poet:
What is the theme of your poem?
The theme of my poem is inspiration during difficult times.
What motivated you to write this poem?
I am always second guessing and questioning my decisions, and this poem reflects how I feel about it.
How long have you been writing poetry?
I have been writing poetry for 6 years now.
If you could have dinner with one person (dead or alive), who would that be?
What influenced you to submit to have your poetry performed by a professional actor?
This poem really resonated with a lot of people and I loved the idea of an actor bringing out the emotions in the poem.
Do you write other works? scripts? Short Stories? Etc..?
Yes, I am working on my first novel. I also manage a global blog, http://www.maraprose.com and freelance for various…
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I decided to reblog this post in honor of my Paralysis poem being selected as of one of the best new poems in February 2017. It will be performed by an actor and I will post the video as soon as I have it. Please be sure to support the other talented poets listed. Grateful and blessed! ~ Mara Prose
Read NEW poem from poets from around the world for the month of February 2017. The best of new talent online today:
SHE CRIES, by Odonko Ba
HEARTBREAK, by Shalana Pace
LOST, by Grim Angel
WHAT IF, by Cindi Walton
CONNEMARA, by Christine Emmert
PARALYSIS, by A Mara Prose Poem
DEAR PAIGEY, by Astroleuth the Poet
FOREVER, by George W. Knox
CODA, by Forrest Jamie
HOW TO KILL YOURSELF, by Emma Miles
THEY ALWAYS BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS THEM, by Sofia Kioroglou
ENJOY, by Guillermo Rocha
HAPPY, by Samrat Rudra
I felt this was perfect for Thursday Thoughts! Enjoy!
There are times in our life when we have to wait, whether we like it or not.
We may be in a line, stuck in traffic, or on a school bench, waiting for a career.
We may be at work, waiting for the day to end so we can return home.
We may be in a hospital, waiting for life to resume.
We may even be waiting for a date under the shadows of unease.
How do we wait?
Do we fiddle with our phone, tap our foot, roll our hair around our finger?
Do we sigh?
Do we look at the person next to us and roll our eyes?
Is that a good way to wait?
Life’s made up of too many moments of waiting for us to be impatient with them.
Sometime it’s good for life to slow down:
Every moment of waiting is an opportunity to relax,
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