Happy Mara Prose Monday!! I am so proud to announce that the new and improved version of The Davenport: A Battle of Wills is officially on Amazon. The e-books is live and available for purchase now! The paperback will be available for purchase within the next 48 hours or less. So please, please help your favorite writer go bestseller by purchasing the book, leaving a review and spreading the word!! Follow this link to get your copy today: BUY NOW
If you missed this past Saturday’s episode of Prosey’s Corner with our very special and talented guest Nayomi Charnelle, be sure to listen to the replay: LISTEN
This week I want to discuss the benefits of using solitude to heal, grow and evolve. It can be difficult sometimes to keep things from people who are close to us, but it is important to follow the intuitive guidance we receive. Even if their intentions are good, we may still want to be careful about who we choose to share certain information with and how they hold our vision. Today by following your inner wisdom to keep matters to yourself, you can make the most of the situation.
Sometimes even the people who love us the most fail to understand the things that are most important to us. If we have a dream that is precious to us, it makes sense to keep it close until it is strong enough to stand up to possible scrutiny and skepticism. We may just want to make our own decisions and learn our own lessons without interference. This too is a good reason for playing our cards close to our vest. We can be gentle with those whose interest in our well-being causes them to ask questions we’d rather not answer. And we may not have to keep our plans a secret for long. But today, by trusting that your feelings direct you to your highest and best good, you can follow them to success.
Next week, I will share how I have utilized solitude to forge a new path in life. Until then, embrace who you are, where you are going and most of all where you are meant to be – in Silence.
We often hear the phrase “seeds grow”. Planting seeds throughout life is imperative to your growth. I have planted many seeds over the past year – some I am still watering, some are starting to sprout and some have become full grown trees for me to nurture, treasure and cherish. When I speak of seed planting, I am speaking of more than a gardening practice, I am speaking of practicing the art of planting spiritual seeds towards a purposeful life.
To conceive and give birth to the miracles you need, you must first plant God’s Word like a seed in your heart. Conception cannot take place without first planting the seed. I constantly meet Christians who pray and believe for God’s intervention in their lives, but remain frustrated with the results. It’s because they are missing the seeds of conception; they just don’t know God’s Word. You can cheat or manipulate nearly all systems that men have created. The legal system can be beaten, letting the guilty go free. Our educational system can be beaten, passing students who haven’t really learned the material. But you can’t change seed-time and harvest. Some people put God’s Word in their hearts for a day or two, but if they don’t see fruit almost immediately, they dig up the seed through their words and actions and wonder why it didn’t work. You have to leave it in the ground over time. Many people are impatient, wanting to bypass the growth cycle and get the full ear right now. I’ve actually had to tell people that what they were believing God for was not going to happen, not because the vision wasn’t good, but because they were expecting a complete ear of corn immediately. (Andrew Womack)
Living intentionally means to align yourself with your purpose. You do so by ‘planting seeds’ for future growth. Planting seeds is nothing more than planning your life goals, wants and desires and working to bring them all to fruition. Without a road map for your life, it is far too easy to be lead astray. I encourage everyone to dig deep inside themselves, shut out friends, family members and all naysayers and really focus on the internal voice of the Holy Spirit and allow that to be your guide. There are so many people that feel they know what is best for you, but only YOU know that. Never be afraid to push back and set boundaries against anyone.
Everything I have ever wanted in my life has started with a seed, an initial thought, a meditation if you will. When these thoughts become repetitive and turn into a strong desire, I know then a seed has been planted and it is up to me and me alone, to ensure that I am committed, disciplined and focused to turn that seed in something more. Please do not wait on anyone else to water your seeds. But at the same time, remember that is not all about obtaining your heart’s desires, it is about sowing in others as well.
Lord, save us from anything outward and anything that is not of life! Deepen the flow of life until it becomes something flowing out of us as many rivers to water others! Lord, make us the sowers with the seeds of life. We don’t want to be merely teaching others but imparting life seeds into them! Make us those who plant Christ into others – by having a rich experience of Christ as life! O, Lord, bring us fully in the way of life even in our working with You and for You!
When, Where and How to Plant Seeds
Plant Purposeful Seeds in Your Families
Plant Purposeful Seeds in All of Your Relationships
I originally published this blog post three years ago, but thought I would edit it and share it once again since it still remains relevant. Not to mention, my writing has vastly improved from three years ago; let’s see what I come up with this time around, LOL!
My thoughts on what epitomizes a true friend have truly evolved. My standards, while more reasonable, have also elevated and refined. A true friend understands my expectations and respects my values without trying to force me to change to become the person they want me to be for their own selfish purposes.
In my mind, a true friend knows where they stand in your life without validation. A true friend does not need constant reassurances that you remain friends. If they do, then it is obvious there is something lacking in the friendship that needs to be addressed. It should show without question or inquiry that a true friendship exists.
True friends do not listen to nonsense spewed by individuals focused on negativity, strife and jealousy. If they do happen to hear these type of comments about their friend, the love they bear for that individual does not allow them to unnecessarily burden their friend with the hateful comments. In a mature friendship, you should each have nothing but the utmost respect and consideration for one another’s feelings.
I have a small group of really close friends and a multitude of superficial friendships and associations. With my closest friends, we can go months without talking or seeing each other and pick right back up as if no time has passed at all. My closest friends know all my quirks, my overall personality, know what I will and will not tolerate and love (and accept) me as I am.
Recently, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. A group of friends joined me in contributing donations towards her medical bills. I was overwhelmed and touched by the gesture because some of the friends, we barely speak or get to spend time together; a lot of them had never even met my mother before. Some of the friends were from Facebook, who I have never met in person. This goes to show that it will not always be the closest friends that are there for you, sometimes it is virtual strangers who show you the most compassion, love and support. These are the relationships I value and nurture because they are the personification of TRUE FRIENDS.
The superficial friendships are expendable to me. They come and go and they are in a take it or leave it category. I do not have any real expectations out of these individuals. These are the “good times” relationships I foster and probably never will develop into anything more than that. This group of individuals are not privy to my personal life, my family and are not really deep or meaningful. And lately, I find that I do not even have the desire to invest any energy in the so called “good times” moments. All my friendships, whether true or superficial, must remain purposeful.
Here are key indicators of whether or not the individual is your True Friend:
If there is anyone in your life that enjoys coming to you with phrases such as “I didn’t want to be the one to tell you” or the “I know I can tell you because it won’t go anywhere” and just any other type of negativity, that person is not your friend!!!
If you have someone in your life who always has time to relay ‘he say, she say‘ nonsense, that person is not your friend!!!
If they are A REAL FRIEND, they sincerely care about your frustrations, your pain and they remain sensitive to the fact that you really do not need any extra strife in your life.
A TRUE FRIEND, knows their place in your life and DOES NOT/SHOULD NOT have to compete with your other relationships. Anyone that is dead set on dominating your time and energy all while isolating you from your other friendships, is NOT your friend.
A TRUE FRIEND, respects you, cherishes the friendship, nurtures the friendship and wants to see you happy. They understand and accept all your imperfections and do not use your flaws or weaknesses against you.
A REAL FRIEND, helps to guide you to see the bigger picture and may even provide tough love at times but ultimately they have your best interests at heart ALWAYS!!
Of course, I could never talk about this subject without touching on Facebook. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I love being able to reconnect with my childhood friends, I love to use it as a marketing tool and I even love the ability to make new friends. However, I hate the way people misuse it for drama, inappropriate relationships and to send subliminal messages. Thankfully, the primary purpose of my Facebook account these days is to market Mara Prose. I generally post a tidbit, scroll the news and rarely engage with anyone on the platform. My, how times have changed for Mara Prose!
It is very important to access who your true friends are, cultivate and nurture those relationships and eliminate the ones from your circle who have nothing but ill will for you.
Until next time, pray for those that need to mature and be sure to value your TRUE FRIENDS!
I really appreciate the positive feedback pouring in from new followers to my blog. It is very motivating to be touching the lives of so many across the globe.
I have come to realize that some of my recent blog posts have cast a negative impression on past events in my life. So just for clarity’s sake, let me redirect my readers to the true purpose of my writing.
Writing is second nature to me. It’s a cleansing that allows me to reflect, relate and release. I like to share my insights and experiences with others because there are so many people that desire to be understood. Our society encourages people to walk the same walk and talk the same talk.
My rebellious nature cannot tolerate people who attempt to put me in a box and define me by our society’s rigid standards. Many are drawn to me and then easily flustered. These individuals project an image of me and when I don’t live up to what they expected, they are bewildered. It troubles them because they were so sure they had me pegged. With me, be prepared to always be disappointed. For as transparent and open as I may seem, there are very, very few who really get me. Most of my shared experiences barely scratch the surface of my truth.
Just for clarity’s sake
I have left the impression there is something wrong with the paths I have chosen to follow. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’m not a one dimensional person. I’m growing and learning, it’s called life. I happily embrace this in myself. I selectively share but will shut down when asked too many questions. Prying will not get you very far with me. If I do not volunteer the information, it is very likely you will never get it out of me.
I’m a walking contradiction who changes on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. I’m open but private. I’m an enabler but it’s to enable you to help yourself. I’m a people person but I love/need my solitude. I’m strong but sensitive. Get the picture?
Just for clarity’s sake
At every stage in my life, I was exactly who I was meant to be at the time. I refuse to regret my choices because I needed those experiences. From marriage, to being a mother, to taking new career paths, it’s all imperative to my journey. At each stage in my life, I did what I needed to do because it is exactly what I needed to do at the time. As time progresses, I’m constantly shedding older versions of myself for new and improved versions. Sometimes it is elegantly executed and other times, I make a big mess of things to get to where I need to be in life.
Just for clarity’s sake
Art is an expression and whatever an artist chooses to express at the time, it does not particularly indicate that is exactly what the artist experienced. Oftentimes, we pull pieces of our experiences, add some flare to it and use it to heal all while connecting with our followers.
Let’s take Beyonce’s Lemonade, for example. Beyonce is a marketing genius. She took an extremely private and hurtful period in her life and turned it into a commercial success. Do you really believe that she would be able to produce a full album about her husband’s infidelity in the midst of his cheating? Of course not. And if people paid attention, at the end of her visual album, she showed how she healed and moved on.
We all experience disappointments, sadness, grief and setbacks. If you are the type of person who feels better about yourself when bad things happen to others, then you are in need of growth, maturity and a big reality check…and some counseling; to say the least.
Just for clarity’s sake
We as a society need to stop putting people in a box. Stop reading more than there is into every situation. Nothing is black and white. We never really know how people truly behave behind closed doors. There are always two, sometimes three or four sides to a story. Even with that, we still may never, ever have a clear picture of who that person really is at heart.
Just for clarity’s sake
By this time next year, I will have evolved again. To some, I’m finally living for myself and to others, I’ve lost my mind, gone completely insane and I’m nothing less than a selfish and self absorbed woman. It’s all about perception. I celebrate the fact that your perception of me is not my reality.
The simple fact is, I just am who I am.
If ever there was time where we really needed to discard preconceived notions about people, it’s now.
Blessed Monday, Prosers! I am so excited, it is officially Taurus season!! We are counting down not only to my birthday on Friday, May 17th, but that is the same day I will be re-leasing my book The Davenports: A Battle of Wills. I have made the official decision to go my separate way from Newman Springs Publishing and maintain all publishing rights exclusively under Mara Prose Publishing, LLC. I appreciate the opportunities, networking and educational support that Newman Springs has provided me over the past several months. However, The Davenports and all future endeavors that spawn from this re-release are best handled by me and me alone. I continue to correspond with Netflix and The Hallmark Channel for a potential Davenport series and the script was submitted for consideration to Warner Bros. Black List Submissions Call.
Remember, we go live every Saturday 9am to 9:30ish am CST; you can listen to our discussions by calling our guest line that opens 10 minutes before the start of the show at 657-383-0885 but if you want to be a part of the discussion, you will need to text your name, number and question(s) to (346) 917-0634.
Today, I would like to discuss how to surround yourself with a group of individuals who will have your best interest at heart, will help to elevate you to new heights and willingly keep you uplifted in prayer. When you make this a regular practice in your life, you will successfully build healthy soul ties that will not need to be broken later on down the line.
Just this past week, I joined a phenomenal group of praying women in a bible study group formed by a long time friend of mine. We were each assigned accountability partners – where we are to hold one another accountable for our praying goals and in discarding destructive habits that keep us from the purpose God has predestined for us. Most of the ladies at this meeting had never met before; therefore, if a virtual stranger is willing to take on this accountability for someone they barely know, it is not unreasonable to expect the same from our family members and close friends.
We should all practice accountability for those we hold near and dear to our hearts. I will be the first to testify that had I not surrounded myself with people who truly loved, cared for and had my best interest at heart, I would not have been able to overcome a lot of my trials over these past several years. Once again, it is all about Applying the Right Discernment in Relationships; a blog post of mine I highly recommend you go back and read. Building a circle of trust is not difficult. These people are, most likely, already in your life and already helping you.
Remember that like minded individuals attract other like minded individuals. You must give off positive vibes and be confident in your life decisions. You also have to be very true to yourself. This will lead you to the people that belong in your circle. If you are mindful and purposeful, you can avoid creating unhealthy soul ties to toxic individuals. Here are a few things to remember when creating the tribe that vibes the best with you.
Choose People Who are Helpful
This is honestly the most important thing in a circle of trust. There are times you will need guidance and these people are an email, phone call or text message away. They always respond swiftly with what is in your best interest and you can count on their advice to be not only helpful, but honest as well.
Sometimes those closest to you are too biased to help decide the best course of action. This is because they love you too death and may be overly supportive of any idea that pops into your head. You need people who will be lovingly honest with you; people who do not want to see you self sabotage. They are even brutally honest at times because your growth is important to them.
They should be more than just yes/no people
It is not enough to simply receive quick and honest feedback. No one benefits from the proverbial pat on the back, you need someone who will help you massage out the details and make the best possible decisions. This requires people who earnestly listen to understand and not just listen to respond. They have the bandwidth to take on your troubles and willingly engage in all aspects of your life because they value you as a person.
Embrace All Walks of Life
The people in my trust circle are best selling authors, entrepreneurs, artists, marketing coordinators, fashion designers, bloggers, and more. I love that they’re all different because they all offer a unique perspective. It’s also a plus when they all think an idea is awesome (that usually means the idea has wide-spread potential!).
Next week, we will explore how to untangle ourselves from toxic soul ties. Until then, if you do not have a circle of trust, you need to get to work on building one. We are not meant to walk this journey we call Life, alone.
Happy Glorious Monday, Prosers! I pray you had a wonderful weekend, and hopefully you were able to catch our first show of the new season of Prosey’s Corner this past Saturday. If not, you are in a for a real treat! Nicky and I had the distinct pleasure of promotion-ally conversing with Jeffery L. Miller and Kiland Lee. You can listen to the rebroadcast by clicking on the following link Prosey’s Corner Season 2 Episode 1.
Before I jump into today’s topic, I want to give a brief update on the new release date of my book, my baby, the thorn in my side, just kidding on that last one (well, not really) LOL, The Davenports: A Battle of Wills. As the perfect birthday present to myself and as a way of sharing that very same gift with all of my Prosers and followers, I have committed to an official re-release date of May 17th, 2019. All 2018 Pre-Orders will receive a special edition, signed copy of the book that is long overdue to you and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your patience, understanding and continued support. More details to come as May 17th inches closer. Happy Birthday to Me!
For today’s topic of discussion, I would like to talk about the misuse of the term, narcissist. Most people use this word far too loosely. Pop culture often attaches this label to a wide variety of people who exhibit difficult and offensive personalities. It is important to understand that vanity and selfishness do not necessarily equate to Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is a distinct set of traits that are a far cry from being simply self-absorbed. True pathological narcissism is a clinical diagnosis, and the residual effects of dealing with a true narcissist can require years of therapy to overcome.
There are many experts who believe in a spectrum for narcissism; apparently it is a trait that a lot of us exhibit to a certain degree. On the healthier side of the spectrum, a person views themselves as unique and asserts themselves with confidence and authority. It becomes problematic when arrogance, grandiosity and entitlement interfere with daily functioning and the ability to maintain relationships.
So what is the true description of a narcissist? A narcissist preys off of the emotions of others and they manipulate other people in order to maintain their framework of self. Individuals with this disorder suffer from a debilitating set of conflicting symptoms that range from extreme dependency to superiority and disdain for others. For anyone who has been in a relationship with a narcissist, they report feeling invisible, unwanted, disregarded and their needs consistently come last; if their needs are considered at all.
It is important to remember that these are not people who have the ability to switch back and forth between a sense of normality and their disorder; it is called a personality disorder for a reason. This is who they are and this who they will always be. I feel it is important to truly distinguish between self-centeredness and narcissism. The recovery from a narcissist is an intense emotional recovery and I would like to provide a few steps to follow on that road to recovery.
SEPARATION AND REFOCUS– understand the dangers of holding onto emotional attachments and LET GO, LET GOD. Sever all ties to the narcissist/abuser in your life and refocus all your effort back on yourself and your new life.
REBUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE– reclaim the old you and embrace your personal power, self-love and self-confidence. Use your self-love to turn chaos into peace, and your anxieties into joy.
BE MINDFUL OF THE PRESENT – teach yourself to be fully present in the moment. Practice calming your mind daily and forcing anxiety to disappear.
BUILD NEW HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS – form healthy connections and focus on attracting better relationships and nurturing authentic friendships with those who support and treasure you. Obtain tools that will effectively help you deal with triggers and ultimately help you to make better choices in the future.
FORGIVE YOURSELF!! – always, always remember it is not your fault, it is a lesson learned; albeit a harsh lesson but a lesson nonetheless. Learn from it, grow from it and use it as your testimony to help others.
I hope this helps everyone to better understand what being a narcissist entails and I encourage everyone to apply the term correctly. I am still on the fence about next week’s topic, so let’s just say it is To Be Determined.
Until next time, keep refining, keep shining, keep rising!