The Victim Mentality


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Picture courtesy of http://www.grassrootssuccess.net

At some point in all of our lives, we are going to come across the “Victim”.  You know, that person everyone is supposedly against, can do no wrong, who is never given a fair chance and who never accepts responsibility for their actions?  Yes, this nuisance of a person will wear down even their strongest and most steadfast supporters with their ‘woe is me’ attitude and selfish mentality.  They often remind me of leeches wandering through life draining everyone around them.  They are very adept at making people believe they need to be rescued and do not shy away from constantly asking for help out of bad situations that they have actually created for themselves by making poor choices.

Lately, I have been coming across more and more of these type of individuals.  I used to go out of my way to play savior to those I felt just simply needed a helping hand.  The older I get, the more I realize I no longer have that type of energy.  It is really easy to spot the ones that are going to become a drain on your life.  People with this type of mentality often come with a sense of entitlement.  The world is full of true victims but then you also have chronic complainers and it is important to know the difference.  The chronic complainers are happy to remain in their so-called victimized state and never work to progress beyond their recurring problems.  More than likely, their issues stem from childhood but some do not develop this mentality until their adulthood.  All they seem to know and express is that nothing ever works out for them and they are always quick to place the blame elsewhere.

The reason I wanted to address this particular topic today is because of something that happened recently and it made me think, who else is having to put up with this draining behavior and how do we effectively handle people like this?  I personally feel it is very important to discern who deserves your help and support and who in fact deserves your tough love.

I can remember going through this stage; a period of time I am not proud of at all.  I recall feeling the whole world misunderstood me, that no one was in my corner and that if someone would simply just reach out and help me, all would  be well again.  It took a while but I soon learned the hard way that I had to pave my own path.  I was the one in fact responsible for my own decisions and outcomes, and I was the one that could make or break me.  It took a lot of soul searching, prayer and therapeutic methods, but I eventually began to regain my sense of self.

You see, there is nothing you can do to help a person with this mindset.  They have to find it within themselves to want to improve and change.  All you can do is either enable, love from a distance or cut them off entirely.  Ultimately, you have to decide what is best for you and stand by your decisions.  Do not allow anyone to make you feel guilty for your choices.  And if you are like me, only human, and find yourself going through or having gone through this phase yourself; be kind and forgive your foolishness.  Life is one big huge lesson and we are all fumbling our way through as best we can.

Until next time, remember life is short so simply live it and live it well!

See you tonight at 7p CST on Twitter for #LetsTalkProse where we will respectfully share our experiences over this topic.

~ Mara Prose

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