Reflections at 38 and of 2015…


 

 

I’m vey late in posting my annual reflections blog.  I believe this year just took a little more meditation and time to come to terms with than usual.  So let us see how much Mara Prose has grown and learned this year.

I am not a superhero!

As much as I love the Avengers series and want to be just like Scarlett Johansson.  Sadly, a reality check always hits when you least expect it, causing you to sometimes crash and burn back into the present.

A lot of times, you fail to realize how much baggage you are really carrying.  You tend to believe that you can suppress your feelings, your emotions and that it is best practice to maintain an image that nothing phases you.  Foolishly, I too fell into this trap of illusion and earlier this year found me at one of the lowest points in my life.  I found myself exhausted, hopeless and emotionally destitute.  Life had lost all its luster and not even the joy and support of my family and friends could bring me out of this darkness.  My family and friends had never seen me like this and it caused a great deal of worry.

I am here to tell you if you ever find yourself feeling as lost as I did, do not be afraid to reach out.  Sometimes, prayer, friends and family just aren’t enough and you need a professional to help you sort things out.  I love my therapist and I love our sessions.  They bring such clarity in my life and empower me to live life to the absolute fullest.  The dark clouds are moving out and the sunny skies are more present than ever.

Some feel it is a representation of strength to bottle up your emotions, but it actually takes more strength of character to admit I need help working through the pitfalls of life.

Embracing Change

It is extremely hard for me to step out of my comfort zone.  I am a true Taurean and a creature of habit.  I do not enjoy not knowing what to expect and I do not appreciate not being in control.  This year I had to embrace the unknown and unexpected occurrences more than ever.  I learned to discern when things no longer serve me and learned to let go.  Letting go of a lot of things was the hardest.  Change is truly inevitable and it is definitely an adjustment we must all become accustomed to throughout our lives.  You hear this all the time but for many of us, it goes in one ear and out the other.

So this year, I have learned to go with the flow more.  Don’t get me wrong, I have not made a total conversion because some things are just my nature.  But it is fun being more impulsive, unpredictable and all around carefree.  I am kind of enjoying switching things up more and raising a few eyebrows here and there.  2016 will bring even more of the same.

Mara Prose

It is past time for Mara Prose to become infamous.  Over the last several years, I have started and stopped, only to start and stop again.  This year’s focus was establishing my brand.  It was time to end this cycle of procrastination and maintain momentum in my endeavor.  The paperwork is almost finished, the office has been secured, my book is in editing mode and my book cover is under development.  I have my two best friends by my side helping to see me through to success.  We have set a tentative date of March 2016 for the book launch.  It is a wonderful feeling to know that your life long dream is on its way to realization.  It is teaching me balance, continuity and new management skills.

Grief and Loss

It is with a heavy heart that I write about the loss of my father in law.  My heart had not yet healed from the loss of my own father just two years prior.  These losses are steady reminders of my own mortality and how to love and take care of myself for my family and close friends.  They also remind me to never take these same family and close friends for granted.  With grief, eventually comes acceptance and the art of letting go.  I am learning to accept that my two father figures are in a better place and now watching over me and mine from heaven.  I try my best to celebrate all the good times and remember them at their best.  Death is inevitable, but allowing life to pass you by is a tragedy.  I have to live for today and worry about tomorrow when it comes.  Each day, I want my loved ones to know that I am thinking of them, praying for them and looking forward to the time I spend with them.  RIP Eugene “Big Gene” Floyd, Sr. – gone but never, ever forgotten.

A new year is upon us.  I pray it is filled with more joy than sorrow.  I pray for health, success, perseverance and discernment.  I pray for lots of love, enjoyment and great memories in the new year.  I pray these things not only for myself but for all who support and read my blog, my family and my friends.  I am claiming that 2016 is going to be a great year to remember!!

Until next time, reflect, accept and release!

~ Mara Prose

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