At the risk of sounding arrogant, the one thing I can appreciate about myself is that I have no illusions about my shortcomings. I willing admit that my expectations of others can be high and sometimes even unrealistic, but for myself, I really just want people to accept me as I am. However, when you are as stubborn and as set in your ways as I am, you tend to get kicked in the rear by karma a lot. And you also run into the constant irritation of people trying to change you all the time.
I like to think of my karma as my wake up calls from God. Sometimes these calls are subtle in nature and only require a tiny poke for me to wake up and redirect myself. But more times than not, it takes a drastic, hard, swift, life altering kick in the ass to make me say “oh, that is what HE meant.” Here is the thing though, I don’t see anything wrong with it, nor would I do anything any different. I am a firm believer in “you made your bed, now lay in it” philosophy. If I mess up, than I mess up but on the same token, it is my responsibility to clean up after myself. Sure, I can try to prevent it but unfortunately, I’m just a permanent member of the hard head makes a soft ass club and that is just the way it is.
The beauty of where I am at in my life right now is that I am ensuring that this time around, when karma comes calling, I learn to not repeat these same errors. I do believe that life is all about falling and getting back up because it tests your faith and keeps it in check. Even if it takes 50 times to learn just 1 simple lesson, then so be it. Celebrate the accomplishment of learning the lesson and praise God for your new knowledge.
I remember the days of trying to be a perfectionist. I believed that term was something to aspire to and that you really had issues to resolve if you weren’t aspiring to it as well. Nowadays, I am more relaxed and I realize there are very few things I do perfectly and it’s not even a term I want to make applicable for myself. See, my biggest karma lesson from God has been ” you will never be perfect because that is reserved for ME.”
Thanking the Lord everyday that I realize my place, my purpose and most of all my limitations.
~ Mara Prose
IMPORTANT UPDATE: I have a surprise next week for all my loyal readers. Those who are the most familiar with my writing want to start reading my short stories that I keep under lock and key. After much soul searching, I said why not. So beginning next week, my blog will begin to include short stories. Some of the short stories will begin and end within that blog and others will fall under the “to be continued” format and will evolve based on reader feedback in the comments section. I am very excited about this new format and I hope you will be too. Stay tuned!