So many people have touched on this topic, thus I doubt I have anything new to add (since there is nothing new under the sun: http://wp.me/p2ajqI-6V).
Over the years, I have been weeding individuals out of my life. It ranges from family members to associates, I do not discriminate. I simply lack the tolerance and temperament to deal with these type of individuals on a regular basis. They serve no real value, although I know there is a lesson to be learned in every situation. I am just choosing not to repetitively learn this lesson.
There are simply some people that you must interact with for whatever reason. However, I don’t feel anyone is excluded from a clean sweep. The ones that have my unconditional love have no worries, but outside of that, I just can’t fathom enduring these draining individuals simply please I feel some obligation. If you don’t act right, we can’t be tight.
Toxic people not only feed off of negativity, they disguise their toxicity by other means. I plan to only name a few that stand out to me, otherwise this blog post will never end.
Let’s start with the all too familiar “catty remark” individual. Their MO is to repeatedly take nips at you to get attention since they feed off of your reactions (think about the Avengers movie and you will catch my drift). Their persistence can be downright annoying and I know I always feel the need to give as good as I get. However, I have learned over time that the best response is no response and distance in that relationship. Why should I exhaust my energy for a catty person when it can be put towards those individuals that feel no need to press your buttons? This type of person likes to insult you and say “just kidding”. If you confront them about it, then oh you are just being overly sensitive and that’s not how they meant it all. Well you know what, perception is key, you have a right to your own feelings and I don’t believe everyone is innocent in this case. If I see a pattern, I make a judgement call on how important you are to my equation and if you lean more towards the negative more times than not, you will be x’ed out. I do this for peace of mind and it works well for me.
How about the cowards who like to post subliminal messages all day? Those people where you are never really sure where the rant came from, if it’s directed at you or how to perceive it in general. We all have vented on social media at one time or another. It’s the easy way out for most of us. This way we have the deniability factor if ever confronted. In this scenario, you do not have to take responsibility and you tell yourself that this person will read it and take it to heart. I know, I’ve been there. Actually, chances are this person will never pick up on your subliminal hint. See, they think they are right, you think you are right and we all feel justified in the actions we take. This is toxic because over time, it erodes at your relationships. This is the main reason I am very picky about my immediate circle. I choose to surround myself with that of which I will experience the most comfort. I do not do anything simply because someone believes I should. If being around you is dreaded, I simply will not be around you and feel no love lost. Everyone has the right to build their own circle and if within that circle you have individuals smiling in your face and then turning around to post a subliminal message about some slight they never acknowledged, you have the right to keep it moving.
Our next toxic individual is probably who some individuals (who shall remain nameless) will identify me with, “the offended individual.”. LOL This is a person who takes offense at everything and reads way more into a situation than is really there. Sometimes their feelings are validated, and sometimes you have simply hit their trigger point. Either way, it causes unnecessary tension in their relationships. I know for me, mine primarily stem from trigger points. Someone will direct a topic towards me that may just hit that one last nerve I have for it and then they become part of the X Factor with me. It’s not right, healthy and I certainly do not expect anyone to follow in my footsteps. All I can say is God and I are in a constant state of construction on me. Offending me is one thing, or my perception of offense that is, but when it comes to those living under my roof, it’s a different story and please don’t bring that wrath down upon yourself. I simply find it more peaceful to ignore and eliminate. This methodology brings me peace of mind and a better balance to my life. Until at such time God speaks to my spirit to make a drastic change, you can either deal with it or ignore it and feel free to eliminate me. I promise it won’t hurt my feelings as I will find it one less person to have to deal with in the grand scheme of things.
These are just a few of my descriptions for toxic people. In my opinion, toxic equates to people I dread, lack positivity or basically disrupt the peaceful balance in my life. I believe we all know it’s hard enough to keep your household together without adding unnecessary elements that for whatever guilt trip you have placed on yourself, feel the need to tolerate. Everyone handles toxic situations differently and if you like your way of handling them, I love it. However, I don’t like toxicity, don’t want to love it, tolerate it or accept it – so I rise above it.
Until we explore this topic again, keep reading and reading and reading my blogs over and over and over again. LOL! I don’t mind, really!! 🙂