I really enjoyed Steve Harvey’s “Act like a Lady, think like a Man”. I have to admit, I was a little skeptical after having read the book over a year ago, as to how they were going to translate it to the big screen. Much to my surprise, this is one of the best movies I have seen in a while. It was very entertaining from start to finish. I
am very proud of Steve, the actors and the overwhelming success of this movie!!
On a serious note, while I see this as pure entertainment, I noticed that not all were taking this movie and book with a grain of salt. I overheard several women in the movie theater discussing how they were going to apply the 90 day rule to their future dates and how Steve Harvey was a true genius in figuring out how women can manipulate men into doing exactly what they want them to do. I am pretty sure this is not the type of mentality that is supposed to develop from this book and movie.
Here is my two cents. First off, games and manipulation in a relationship are counterproductive. Someone always gets hurt and most of the time the relationship ends badly. I will admit, I am very out of touch with the current dating scene, but common sense tells me that game playing is not the key to maintaining a successful relationship. Please do not walk away from this movie with new ideas on how to catch and keep a man. While Steve definitely made some good points, women should not have to walk around plotting their next move as if they are playing a game of chess. We are not equipped to think like a man. That is why they are men and we are women. It is not an authentic behavior for us and causes more harm than good. We ladies need to have confidence in who we are and rely more on our natural God-given instincts. If you have a man that is all about games and maintaining an ambiguous attitude towards the relationship, more than likely he is not worth your time. It is as simple as that.
If you have not seen the movie, you may want to stop here and return to my blog later so that you do not read the spoilers. There is one character that really stood out to me and that I could relate to because I know many women who set very high, unrealistic standards for the type of man they want to date. There is nothing wrong with having preferences but when those preferences are for the most part unobtainable, then one should rethink their unreasonable demands in a partner. I know several women who purposely build a checklist of flaws in an effort to find fault before the relationship has the chance to blossom. What is the purpose of that? We are all human and fall short of the glory of God. If you maintain that stance, you will forever be single and will have no one to blame but yourself. I also take issues with females who focus only on the superficial aspects of what they want out of relationship, without seeking a deeper purpose. For example, if you only want a man who makes six figures, drives a BMW, owns a house and can whisk you away at a moment’s notice, then darling you better bring something
more to the table than just good looks, charm and sex. Relationships are not a means to an end and more individuals better start seeking out more purposeful relationships if the expectation is for longevity.
The 90 day rule is another tactic discussed in the movie. The character in this dilemma decided to withhold sex for 90 day in an effort to force the man to prove that he is worthy of receiving the ‘cookie’, as they termed it in the movie. While there is clearly a strong sexual attraction between the two characters, she is able to refrain from giving into her lustful desires. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely agree that sex while dating should be taken seriously and women should proceed with caution. However, I don’t agree that sex should be used as some type of reward for good behavior. If that is the case, men will simply act the part until they get what they want and move on. This will then only leave the woman defeated, bitter and once again alone. Is there something wrong with just dating and seeing where things lead without having to devise a master plan filled with test after test after test? That just seems foolish and irresponsible to me. Once again, maybe I am out of touch, but I strongly believe that a women’s vagina is not a trophy to be earned.
When I read Steve Harvey’s book, it was nice to hear the male perspective on relationships but I did not take it as the gospel. However, this takes me back to a former blog of mine where women always have the pressure of wearing the “male hat”. It is well known that most women who are very successful in corporate america have to surrender their femininity in order to succeed in a male dominated workforce. Many women today are playing father and mother to their children, leaving them little time to relish their women hood. I read an article last week that stated the feminist movement damaged women’s relationships with men. The article believed that independent women had destroyed the balance between male and female relationships. I am not sure I necessarily agree with that, but after reading several related articles, it certainly sent the message that what I call the ‘masculinization of women’ is definitely playing a key part in our relationships.
The point I am simply trying to make is that love is not a game and women don’t need to think like a man at all. If you are dating someone you feel attracted to and believe you may want a future with, simply tell that individual and see where things lead. Why not pray, love yourself first, learn who you are and not who the world tells you that should be as opposed to looking to celebrities for answers. Why should a woman have to plot, scheme and manipulate in order to achieve the relationship they desire? Steve Harvey was right when he said that if you do not make your desires known to your significant other, the man will be clueless as to how to meet your needs. I think the sword cuts both ways. If men are not clear on their intentions and purposely set out to mislead, then don’t cry when you have to face the consequences of your actions. This goes for my fellow females as well. We don’t need to think like each other, we simply need to understand and respect one another.
Until next time, keep reading my blogs! Lol