One of my biggest pet peeves has always been ‘know-it-alls’. I used to abhor people who felt the need to tell me what to do and how to do it because their way was supposedly superior to my own. It would burn me up inside and I would always make it a point to push back and do everything I could in an effort to prove them wrong. However, the back and forth was exhausting and ultimately we both simply ended up looking like fools. “Fools care nothing for thoughtful discourse; all they do is run off at the mouth.” Proverbs 18:2 MSG
It always felt like the ‘know-it-alls’ were trying to control me. However, I have learned that there is a lot more to a ‘know-it-all’ than meets the eye. A lot of it stems from insecurity on their part, but there are some who simply want to be heard for once. So I am now of the opinion, what does it really hurt to allow them to have their ‘know-it-all’ moment? Does it really cost me anything to sit back and listen to someone tell me something I already know? Is there any real harm in allowing someone to feel like they are guiding me when I already know where I am going? Especially when it comes to your loved ones; it is simply who they are so why not accept it?
It was probably my own insecurities that had me opposing the ‘know-it-alls’ that crossed my path. Maybe I had to be the only ‘know-it-all’ in the mix, who knows. For whatever reason, I am certainly glad I have outgrown that type of mentality. It really is a waste of energy to constantly challenge individuals who feel like they are helping you. I have no qualms about sitting back and listening to unsolicited advice that I may or may not take to heart. I now respectfully listen and then I quietly come to a decision that I believe is in my best interest. It saves a lot of time, headaches, petty arguments and frustration.
I have always been a very contrary person, but the older I get, the more I realize this is not a big deal to me. It is so much easier just to sit back, allow the ‘know-it-all’ to have their moment and respectfully accept that this is just a part of their personality. You are never going to change them, so why bother trying?
Self preservation is the key to everything in my world right now. There are so many things I formally expended a lot of energy on, that are simply not worth my time. Let me leave you with this thought: Why not embrace all personalities, nurture the needs of those you love no matter how irritating, since it doesn’t cost you anything? Because really, what does it hurt?
~ Mara Prose
I had the most freeing moment this weekend and I simply had to share it with my Prosers. Anyone who knows me or who has followed me for sometime knows that I am all about promoting the right image. But those closest to me are well aware of how picky I am about, or should I say, WAS about my pictures. Well, this past week my gorgeous daughter turned 17 and she had several different events throughout the week to celebrate. The last one involved a dinner with her friends that took place after a very long day at work for me. By the time I reached the event, my hair was pulled up in a loose bun, my make up had wore off and I simply was not at my most stylish best; so far removed from the meticulously put together Mara of the past.
Of course, my candid camera daughter wanted a picture with her mother. I reluctantly posed and gave my usual instructions – watch those angles, LOL! When my daughter sent me the picture the next day, I inwardly groaned and quickly started to critique how fat my face looked, how I should have worn a dark colored cardigan, how I should have left my hair down that day, blah blah blah. I spent about an hour in this ridiculous state of mind until I really felt an inner voice tell me “wake up and shut up.” It suddenly came so clear to me that it was not about the way I looked in the picture, it was about capturing a beautiful moment with my daughter that I could forever treasure. Who cares how I looked! Especially since that day, that moment and that picture was not about me; it was about celebrating another year with my daughter on her birthday. The joy she had that night made everything else seem very unimportant.
In the past, I would have never posted the picture to my social media or really even shared it with anyone. But this time around I plastered it all over Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. I purposely added a filter with the word Love – and it represents not only the love for my daughter, loving that moment in time but also finally just loving ME as well. I have wasted so much time worrying about what other people will think of me, making sure that I always meet their expectations of how I should look, act, feel, etc and the freeing moment is that I can FINALLY say to HELL with all of those small minded critics. The beauty within me radiates far past how I wear my hair, what I choose to wear and whether or not I have a full face of makeup on. The true beauty of Mara equates to so much more than the superficial. My beauty lies in my relationship with my Heavenly Father, within my heart, within my children and within my passions and purpose in this life. I am very much over having to deal with anyone who cannot see past the exterior.
The people I gravitate towards on a continual basis make me feel good about me – ALL of ME! They are in my corner and supportive whether I am glammed up, a hot mess, grumpy, impatient, loving – they are simply there for it all, loving me, supporting me and encouraging me. They don’t focus on my weight, my hair, what I am wearing or what I am doing in life. They love me for me. So here is sending a special shout out of THANKS to a few women in particular who I am so grateful to God that He has recently blessed me with their friendship and sisterhood – Alisia Kennedy, Debra Young, Teresa French and Stacy Strickland. These women encourage me everyday and I do mean, everyday! Every morning we all start our day with praise, worship, inspiration and uplifting one another. There is no negativity, there is no competition, ulterior motives – it is all LOVE. I absolutely love being around them, chatting and sharing our lives with one another.
I sincerely pray that everyone is able to surround themselves with people who make them feel good about who they are, who will not try to change them and who will encourage them to simply celebrate their uniqueness. So much time is wasted when you spend it with anyone other than people who bring out the best in you. Believe me, I know and I am grateful to be awake.
The glamorous pictures may bring more likes but the likes on the REAL pictures are the ones that count for they tell me who all see ME for ME and deserve a place in my life – another tool of discernment so to speak. I share this enlightening experience to help others who may be struggling with seeking unnecessary validation from virtual strangers when all you have to do is look within and listen to that inner voice that tells you “YOU ARE ENOUGH!”
Until next time,
Author Mara Prose
PS: Do not forget to follow this link and purchase your copy of The Journey to Mara Prose: A Poetic Testimonial and/or The Davenports: A Battle of Wills and thank you in advance for ALL who support my writing. You also have contributed to bringing out the best in ME! November 6th, 2019 will be the release of The Davenports: Crescendo.
I learned a long time ago that perception does not equal reality. Our society is built on nothing but perception. We look at pictures daily via social media and believe what we see based off of a single moment in time. If we do not have a lot of social media nonsense to go off of, then we begin to make assumptions. Nothing irks me more than people who feel they know you based off of a social media post or meme.
Perception is dangerous in my opinion. It is just too easy to take everything at face value and causes us to be lazy in our relationships with one another. It also places the person who is being perceived at an unfair advantage because the perceptions generally come with unrealistic expectations that are based on ideals that do not really exist. Yes, that is a mouthful, but it is true. We need to stop projecting and begin to focus on everyone’s true attributes. We all have many sides to our personality and for me personally, it is frustrating and annoying to be pigeon-holed into just one single side. Granted, I do not show all sides of me but then again, I am not always able to because it is simply too irritating to try to change one’s warped view of who you are.
I am deeply saddened at the state of our world. A lot of times it is so much easier and peaceful to stay far removed from it all. The message today for what it is worth is to stop judging and start learning to relate more and stop making ASS-umptions about everyone else. Stop looking only at the surface and stop the false pretenses you maintain with others. We need to work towards more meaningful relationships since we never know what someone else is truly going through.
Until next time, keep those you love very, very close.
~Author Mara Prose
By popular demand, I will be releasing the Prologue for Book Two of The Davenports: crescendo in the coming weeks; with an official release date of November 6th, 2019 – in honor of my loving son’s birthday!
I have packed Book Two with an equal amount of suspense and cliffhangers as we return to Alessandra’s world of greed, corruption and vengeance. I hope you will continue on this journey as we discover the hidden secrets of The Davenports
Several years ago, someone very close to me told me NO twice when I was in need and I attribute my entire transformation as a Woman of God, Renewed Focus and the Development of my Self Identity to this encounter. At first, I was stunned, shocked and rejected. My heart was hurt and I could not fathom how this person who had always been my rock could reject me in my desperate time of need.
I realized I was on my own and I was the only person I could depend on to bring myself out of the mess I had created in my life. I am forever grateful for this rejection because it has opened so many doors that I would have never knocked on had I not been rejected. Because of this NO, I am writing more than ever, I am officially a published author, I have my own radio show and a new career in IT and I am pursing more and more endeavors every day.
The NO I received set me on a path to true independence. Stepping out of my comfort zone, desperate to find a new direction, made me focus on self improvement. Thinking outside of the box has been a Godsend. My do or die situation lead me to network with new clients who wanted my writing skills, my technical skills and excellent social media ability. But most importantly, it brought me closer to God, made me a better mother, a better daughter, a better sister and a better friend.
So in essence, do not feel bad or rejected when you are told NO. It simply means it wasn’t meant to be. All you have to do is shift your focus and learn that all you really need is faith in God and sheer willpower. Believe in Yourself, Motivate Yourself, Love Yourself, Nurture Yourself and most importantly Embrace All That Is You!
Life is hard but it is not impossible. Always remember, you got this and you can do anything you put your mind to. All it takes is stepping out on Faith!
~ Mara Prose
Happy Monday, Prosers!! Today, I simply want to share YouTube videos of sermons I have been listening to on repeat for the past several weeks in an effort to break all unhealthy soul ties in my life. May these videos bless you, free your mind and renew your sense of self!
~ Author Mara Prose
Happy Mara Prose Monday!! I am so proud to announce that the new and improved version of The Davenport: A Battle of Wills is officially on Amazon. The e-books is live and available for purchase now! The paperback will be available for purchase within the next 48 hours or less. So please, please help your favorite writer go bestseller by purchasing the book, leaving a review and spreading the word!! Follow this link to get your copy today: BUY NOW
This week I want to discuss the benefits of using solitude to heal, grow and evolve. It can be difficult sometimes to keep things from people who are close to us, but it is important to follow the intuitive guidance we receive. Even if their intentions are good, we may still want to be careful about who we choose to share certain information with and how they hold our vision. Today by following your inner wisdom to keep matters to yourself, you can make the most of the situation.
Sometimes even the people who love us the most fail to understand the things that are most important to us. If we have a dream that is precious to us, it makes sense to keep it close until it is strong enough to stand up to possible scrutiny and skepticism. We may just want to make our own decisions and learn our own lessons without interference. This too is a good reason for playing our cards close to our vest. We can be gentle with those whose interest in our well-being causes them to ask questions we’d rather not answer. And we may not have to keep our plans a secret for long. But today, by trusting that your feelings direct you to your highest and best good, you can follow them to success.
Next week, I will share how I have utilized solitude to forge a new path in life. Until then, embrace who you are, where you are going and most of all where you are meant to be – in Silence.